


The General's Revenge

by Michael_Ackart



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Flashbacks, M/M, Mass Effect Big Bang 2017, Post-Game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-20 01:44:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11910633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michael_Ackart/pseuds/Michael_Ackart
Summary: The archon has been defeated for some time. After a routine stop in Kadara, Tann sends Ryder a message - near the scourge, strange readings have appeared. Maybe it's the quarian ark. Go to those coordinates and discover what centuries-old secrets are lurking in the dark





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First off, huge thanks to Azzy for running this thing. This is my second year participating in the MEBB and it's been fun. And of course thank you so much to [solstheimart](http://solstheimart.tumblr.com) for all the art and really bringing this fic to life! You can find me at [nukaboyquantum](http://nukaboyquantum.tumblr.com)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Reapers?”

“Yeah. Do you remember that huge fight at the Citadel? In, uhhh, 2183,” Ryder asks. “That Commander Shepard was at the center of.”

“I do,” Reyes tells him.

They're on the Nexus, the Charlatan on a small _vacation_ —though Ryder, his sister, and his crew are the only ones who know the truth about his identity. Since the Archon's defeat, the Ryder twins have purchased an apartment together for down time between missions. Luca's unsure where Lyla is right now. The only things that matter are the arms wrapped around him as he and Reyes lie in bed. Tomorrow they leave back for Kadara, but Ryder hopes his boyfriend will stay onboard the Tempest a while longer.

“I was in the Traverse when it happened,” Reyes continues, “but news spreads quickly. The Council did die after all.”

“Shepard had to make a quick decision. He chose to sacrifice the Council and save everyone's strength for the actual fight. That thing was way more than just a ship.”

“News of that battle died quickly as well.”

“Yeah, ‘cause they wanted to bury the truth. My dad knew about the reapers. Liara T'Soni, she was part of Shepard's original crew. She told him they were coming but that no one believed Shepard's reports. Even face-to-face with the enemy didn't convince.”

“Did your dad know that you knew?”

“Yeah, I told him. But he said there was nothing we could do.”

“Did you know the commander?”

Ryder frowns at the wall. “Cal was my friend.” Shepard won an important battle, only to die in a mysterious attack a few weeks later. It hurt. Just like it hurt seeing Kaidan grieve at the small memorial held for him. Only a few attended, because the Alliance didn't want the public to know. It angers him, even now. Cal never liked the Alliance and even in death, they-

Hands brush up and down his back in an attempt to soothe.

“You're tensing up,” Reyes whispers.

Luca shivers. “What happened to him was unfair.”

“I know. I wonder if these reapers eventually showed up.”

“I'm sure they did. I just...I wish we knew what happened. Is it really possible that we're all that's left?”

“I'd like to think that they found a way in the end. But we always knew things would be a mystery here.”

“I know. This is just a really, really big mystery.”

“Perhaps one day we'll be able to find out.”

~~~~~

Lyla pokes at a human on the ground with her boot as Luca laughs. Brother and sister have just beaten up a would-be robber who pulled a knife on them. Now their trek to Kralla's Song can resume. They want to check up on the outpost—and Reyes wants to check up on Collective business. The crew is off doing...whatever it is they do when they dock at the port. After this, Ryder wants to fly to Eos. He likes visiting each outpost from time to time to make sure the Initiative isn't fucking things up. And with Podromos being their first successful colony, it’s especially important for it to continue running smoothly.

“This place used to be a lot worse,” Luca mutters.

“Yeah? This was nothing,” she gestures towards the guy. “How many fights did we get into when we were younger?”

He sighs. “Those were some fun times.”

The mood suddenly turns very tense and Lyla quietly asks, “Do you miss it?”

“What? Being a teenager? Or the Milky Way? Eh, doesn’t matter. I do miss it. I was telling Reyes about Cal the other day. I've been missing him a lot lately. I miss everything.”

“You know...you could always open up a tattoo shop of your own out here. I bet you'd make a lot of money. You have enough training.”

“Ha!”

“I'm serious!”

“I dunno...maybe one day. Still feels like there's so much _serious_ bullshit yet to do. And part of me feels like it's a new galaxy, maybe I should get a new dream?”

“Nah, that's dumb.”

“I know.” He stretches as he walks, a small distraction as he tries to think of something else to talk about. Neither of them want to think about the past, especially him. Luca's only recently started to let go of his regret about coming to Andromeda.

“Keema's doing a good job, all things considered.”

“Yeah, she is. Which means Reyes and I can see each other more often and he can rule from the shadows of my terminal on the Tempest.” His sister stares at him. “What, creep?” he jokes.

“You really love him, huh?”

“Duh.” But then, “Yeah. I do. I'm happy with him.” They reach the bar and Luca wonders if Drack's already here. Or Liam. Probably. “Hey...did I ever tell you about the time Drack and I kicked the entire bar's ass?”

She grins and shakes her head. He tells her the story over whiskey. She is not surprised whatsoever, but she is amused.

A couple days pass on the planet, and the Tempest departs from Kadara Port. Ryder is happy, Reyes is staying aboard longer. Most of the crew is happy, they don't have to stay on Kadara any longer. Eos isn't exactly close but Luca can think of worse ways to spend the time. Sam informs him whenever he has another silly email in his inbox but it's when they're in the Pytheas system that he receives something important.

“Luca, you have new email. It's from Director Tann.”

“Ugh. Okay, thanks,” the pathfinder calls out. He's currently in the galley fixing himself a snack. He does his best to slurp some of his re-hydrated noodles down as he walks to his quarters. It's not an easy task. He puts his bowl down on his desk and opens the message up.

_'Pathfinder, call me as soon as you open this.'_

“That sounds...urgent. I wonder what he wants.”

“It is best you call him now and find out.”

With his noodles forgotten, he hurries out of his room and to the vidcon. Liam, Vetra, and Cora are around the research table—doing what he has no idea—and they all stare as he shuffles by.

“You're in a hurry,” Vetra calls out.

“Tann has something important.”

They don't join him in the meeting room but he knows they're listening. Ryder sets up the call and the salarian he strongly dislikes appears.

“Hello, Pathfinder.”

“Tann,” he says. “Your email sounded important.”

“It is. We're getting reports from near the Scourge. Something is on the radar but we don't know what. We think they're ships but our scouts can't confirm whose. The angara have already said they have no people out there.”

“We know the Archon wasn't working alone. Do we...do we think this is the rest of them?”

“There's not enough information to determine if they're kett and it does us no good to jump to conclusions.”

“It could be the quarians.”

“If it is the ark, they're not alone.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I'm sending you the coordinates. The other pathfinders are heading towards the area but I'm asking the Tempest to go in first. You're the closest, you have the most kett experience, and your ship can get in and out undetected.”

“On it. Sam will send you any information.”

The call disconnects and almost immediately, footsteps pound up the stairs. Liam, Vetra, and Cora look at him, but now Reyes and Lyla have appeared as well.

“The kett are back,” Vetra says quietly. “We shouldn't assume but...”

Ryder shoves a hand in his hair and brushes it away from his eyes. “It does no good speculating. Hey, Kallo! Change of plans, I'm heading up to the bridge.” His friends part to let him through, and he and Reyes exchange glances as he passes.

Luca's not sure what to make of this sudden information. A lot of time has passed since the Archon's defeat but...not enough time to make him feel ready. And the quarians? They've combed the cluster searching for their ark but found nothing. With no more messages sent their way...Ryder wonders if the Nexus allowed itself to forget about them.

The coordinates Tann sends will take them to the far rim of the cluster, isolated and largely uncharted even before the scourge. It's incredibly dangerous but the Initiative needs to know what this potential threat is. Ryder explains the situation to Kallo and Suvi. They change course, Eos will have to wait. The three talk for a few minutes before Ryder wanders back to his quarters.

A small sound of disappointment escapes him when he sees his cold abandoned bowl on his desk. Before he's able to grab it and reheat the food in the microwave, the door slides open.

“What do you think about this?”

It's Reyes. He turns around and reciprocates the kiss he's given. “I think I'm nervous,” he answers. 

“It could be Roekaar ships.”

“If it's as close to the scourge as Tann says, then I doubt it. They’re such a small force now anyways. I have a really bad feeling...” Reyes' arms wrap around his waist. “I'm glad you're here,” he murmurs against the older man's shoulder.

He kisses Luca's hair. “So am I.”

Within an hour, most of his friends have gathered in the research lab to talk amongst themselves. The quarian ark is most widely discussed and theorized about. It must be them. Where else but this most deserted spot in the galaxy could they be? Ryder doesn't bother trying to stop them. Their mission is to scout, nothing more. Get in, get out undetected, report back so the Initiative can prepare accordingly. Everyone asks him questions, despite Luca knowing just as little about the situation as they do, and that continues for the entire trip.

He's lying on his bed, eyes closed and still completely dressed, when Kallo calls him to the bridge.

“We've arrived in the system.”

The coordinates are so far out on the edge of the system, that the spot technically isn't part of it. But it's the closest star for light years. It's an unnamed red giant—much larger and cooler than Sol. The scourge weaves and branches entirely too close for comfort. But the way it dances through space, the way light reflects all around it, there's something eerily beautiful about it.

“How has this system not been gobbled up?” Ryder mostly mumbles to himself but Suvi answers anyways.

“In another century or two, it will be. Only two planets surround this star. It's likely there used to be more.”

“Where are we-” A loud beep cuts him off. “The hell's that?”

“I'm picking up a signal. We're...we're being contacted,” Kallo tells him.

“It's nearby,” Suvi adds, “but I can't pinpoint where.”

“Patch it through,” Ryder orders.

“This is Pathfinder Dima of Ark Keelah Si' yah. Do not approach further. I repeat, do not approach further! Hostiles are in the area.”

“It's a recording, Ryder.”

“Goddamn it. Take us farther in. Did Tann's scouts make it to this point?”

“No,” Sam answers. “They never reached the system. They did not want to risk being seen by whatever is out here.”

“Do the quarians know we're here?”

“It's likely being broadcast within a certain range.”

Stealth drives are enabled as they continue to the coordinates. Past the first planet. Around the star. They're near the second planet's only moon when the Tempest is contacted again.

“This better not be another recording,” Luca growls.

“It is not. I am the quarian pathfinder.”

The screen appears and on it is the image of a suited up quarian. Ryder's eyes widen. They're still alive. The ark made it. “And I'm the human one. Luca Ryder.”

“Jan'Dima vas Moreh. You must not fly any closer to this moon. Our entire ark was shot down by an enemy force. There are ground troops as well as air strikes.”

“Is it the kett? They're a hostile race that invaded Andromeda decades ago. Most of them should be gone by now.”

“No...no, we know what these aliens are. They caught us after we passed through the...cloud surrounding the system. We're unsure what exactly it is.”

“The scourge. Some sort of dark matter thing. It tagged all the arks.” _'We know what these aliens are.'_ Ryder doesn't want to think about the implications. Maybe it was a mutiny onboard. Maybe... “We got your first distress call. We've been unsuccessfully trying to peg your location since.”

“We warned you to stay away! You don't know what's here.”

“Like we're really just gonna abandon you guys. What is here? Scouts said something is in the area but we don't know what.”

“Ryder...have you ever heard of the Collectors?”

“Collectors? Who are they?”

“To most who have heard of them, they are merely a myth. But they are real and they are a race that lives...lived beyond the Omega 4 Relay. They make their presence known only occasionally. One of our own pieced together footage of them on a human colony before our ark left. These creatures here match all known sightings, though the people who've seen a collector and _lived_ are extremely rare.”

“H-how...why are they here?”

“We do not know why they've followed us to Andromeda or what their plans are. But we've been fighting them on this moon ever since our arrival.”

“I'll call the other pathfinders. What are the enemy’s numbers? How do we get your ark running?”

The quarian sighs but explains what systems are blown out, what's been broken from onboard collector raids. It's all the quarians can do to keep cryogenics online.

“I'll have my Sam relay this back to the Nexus so they can prepare and spend as little time possible when we launch a rescue.”

“It is unwise. Their ships are massive. At least one has crashed here with us. We don't know how many wait in hiding and we are too close to this scourge. All we know is that they never relent. Their technology is unlike anything we've ever seen.”

Sam whispers across their private channel. “Pathfinder Dima is right. To go down there now is highly unrecommended until we find the collector's base of operation. The quarians are sending over their information. Looking it over now.”

“We'll figure something out,” Ryder mutters. “The director of the Initiative, Tann, wants us to check out a set of coordinates nearby. At first, we thought it was the kett but it looks like that isn't the case.”

“We have not run into any of these 'kett.' Our numbers dwindle each day but we cannot spare resources waking others up. The coordinates you have could be more of their ships.”

He wonders why the collectors haven't left this system, if they're somehow stranded. Maybe it is the quarians they're after, but that seems too random. Did something happen between the first and second wave launches to cause this?

“Is there anything I can do, Dima?”

“No. Contacting the Nexus is enough. Continue your mission and discover what's lurking out there. Let us know, so we can prepare.”

“I will. Ryder out.”

Sam speaks immediately. “Tann is waiting on the line.”

“Oh my god,” he grumbles and opens the channel.

“You found them.”

“They're...not doing too great,” Ryder tells the salarian. “Sam forwarded you-”

“Yes, received. I've heard rumors of the collectors back in the Milky Way but if this is truly them...”

“Dima seemed confident it was.”

“It's troubling.”

Luca snorts. “To say the least. He doesn't want us to try to land right now.”

“Between this unknown number of collectors and the proximity to the scourge, he's right. We can't rush in, we need to be smart about this. Ryder, continue to those coordinates. We need to know if those are more collector ships. In the meantime, we're going to attempt a supply drop and plan further. It's a miracle Ark Keelah Si'yah has lasted this long.”

“...Can the ark be repaired? Look at the Hyperion. These things weren't made to touch dirt.”

“That...remains to be seen. Every capable engineer is being summoned right now. But the Keelah is designed differently from the other arks. It was necessary in order to accommodate so many different species.”

“So the reason they were delayed in the first place could be what saves them. That's...hopeful.”

“Yes, it is. We'll continue working on our end. Ryder, you continue on yours.”

“Will do.”

“The other pathfinders are already on their way. I'll contact you once we've updated our plan.”

Things are moving fast and Sam wastes no time when the call ends. “Ryder, the footage put together by that quarian was from a human colony called Freedom's Progress. Everyone there was abducted.”

“Dima didn’t mention that part.”

“The missing colonists were also being investigated by Cerberus.”

“The name sounds familiar.”

“They are a former black ops branch of the Systems Alliance. In 2183, they went dark and became what many called a terrorist organization. The person who found that quarian and led the Cerberus investigation in 2185 was Commander Shepard.”

Luca's hands flies against the table to catch himself.

“Ryder!”

People are behind him, eavesdropping again no doubt, but he doesn't know who. Doesn't know when the hell they arrived. Doesn't care. His focus has narrowed onto two simple syllables.

“Shepard? Cal? He's dead.” Yes, he is dead in 2820 but that's damn well not what he means.

“In 2185, Cal Shepard was discovered alive and working with Cerberus. With the help of a quarian team led by Tali'Zorah vas Neema, they rescued 'Veetor' and acquired the data on the Collectors.”

“Oh...oh, man.” His first name's being called but it doesn't register. Is this his private channel? Or can everyone hear this news? Why aren't they as stunned as he is? “W-why was he with a terrorist group? He wouldn't...”

“I'm sorry, Luca. That is unknown.”

This information feels like a punch in the gut and the weight of it is enough to knock him right off his feet. Ryder feels himself falling, hands latching on.

When he's coherent once more, he's on his back staring at a circle of concerned faces. His sister is kneeling next to him. “I'm fine,” he says and pushes himself up. The blood rushes from his head and he wobbles.

“Easy,” Lyla urges. She has an arm around his shoulders in an instant. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah.” No, he's not. “Did everyone hear Sam? Shepard wasn't dead?”

“Most people didn't know he was killed in the first place,” Lyla reminds him.

“Kaidan himself told me he was dead. I went to the memorial, we cried together. But he was alive? And working for a bunch of fucking terrorists?”

“We don't know the full story. Who knows what his reasons-”

“What the fuck could ever justify that?”

“You know Cal. You know he wouldn't do anything without good reason.”

Ryder does know. But he can't imagine what that reason is. “It doesn't matter,” he bites out, and it's a painful admission. Shepard's dead regardless. But these quarians are still alive and currently in need of help. So he'll channel his 'inner-Shepard' and push away his feelings and do what needs to be done. He stands and everyone backs up to allow him space.

“What's the plan, Ryder?”

“Give the moon a wide berth and continue to the coordinates. Everyone's right, landing right now is suicide. But he talked about air strikes. Do we see anything on our radar?”

“No. My theory is that they could be hiding in the planet's atmosphere.”

“Great. The Tempest doesn't even have a gun.” He orders everyone off the bridge. He feels crowded and needs to think. “Aliens from the Milky Way are attacking. Can't wait to explain this to the angara.” He sighs and feels cold. He's regretting his tank top right now. He walks up to the railing and stares at the galaxy map, but the interface holds no answers. Sometimes it's a bit disorienting to stare out the window when the ship's moving like this. Ryder isn't sure how Suvi and Kallo don't feel the same and he sort of feels like throwing up.

Collectors stealing entire colonies, reapers invading...only scraps—if that—must remain of their former home. It's painful to think how much his friends must have suffered while he slept safe on the Hyperion. He stays on the bridge as they travel the distance. He doesn't feel like talking to the others right now—even Lyla and Reyes—and he silently apologizes to them. Suvi and Kallo seem to sense this. Eventually, it's Cora who comes back but she's alone.

“Nobody's quite sure what to do with this information,” she says.

“Me either.”

“You were close to Shepard?”

“We met when I was seventeen. He came to my friend's tattoo shop and we talked the entire time he got work done. We just clicked. Became friends. I liked him...loved him. And then he died in '83. Something destroyed the Normandy and he never made it off. But he did? He was alive? Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't he tell _Kaidan?_ ”

“Maybe he couldn't.”

He shrugs. “I wish Dima could give me more info but now's not the time. What do you think about this collector business?”

“I think it's terrifying if it's true. What does the Initiative have that a mythical hostile alien race could want?”

“You don't believe the quarians?”

“More like don't _want_ to.”

“I get that,” he whispers.

“Why were they abducting colonies?”

“For nothing good.” Were they working with the reapers? Was it just a coincidence? Is it relevant to their situation now?

“We dealt with the kett. We'll deal with these guys too, Ryder.”

“Yeah. With all of us, they don't stand a chance.”

“We're nearing our destination,” Kallo informs them.

The door behind them slides open. His friends walk in, Reyes leads the pack. Luca feels bad for distancing himself. His boyfriend comes up next to him and squeezes his shoulder.

Suvi speaks. “I'm picking up faint signs of life at our nav point. Very faint.”

“Is it Collector ships?

“I...I don't know. It matches no known signatures, including the ones we received from the quarians.”

“Can you take us closer?”

“It's...a risk. They haven't seen us yet but-” Kallo starts.

“Just a little farther.”

They get close enough for a visual and Ryder has no idea what they're looking at. Five black, strange-looking ships come up on sensor but Ryder's not even sure they're ships.

“Luca,” Sam's voice pierces the air and everyone on the bridge flinches unexpectedly. “These ships are similar in construct to Sovereign, the reaper Commander Shepard fought in 2183.”

“These are reapers?!” he exclaims and they all look at him strangely. He forgets Lyla and Reyes are the only people he's told about them.

“The life sign? It's...coming from the ship itself,” Suvi says.

“It's still alive.” Barely. Or is it hibernating? They don't look like they pose a threat right now. With how the council and the Alliance hid Sovereign's true identity, Ryder really only has the stories Shepard told him.

“The reapers are ancient,” he explains quietly. His blood runs cold with fear but he's also in awe. He explains what he knows, how his dad knew of them too. They're horrified.

“And now they're here?” Liam asks. “Speaking of which, why are we? Maybe floating in front of old murder ships isn't the best idea.”

“Suvi said they're barely alive,” Luca mutters.

“ _One_ is,” she corrects. “There's nothing from the others. I'm not sure if they're even aware.”

“I don't know about anyone else but I _really_ don't want to get a definitive answer on that.”

But Ryder ignores him. “The scourge had to have fucked them up. Is this why the Collectors are here? It has to be.”

“Did they come together? Or did one chase the other?” Liam muses. “And am I seriously the only one concerned?!”

“It's fine. Look at them, they're not doing anything.” Ryder feels sort of mesmerized. “Sam...let Tann...” He doesn't even bother finishing the sentence. Sam's smart enough to figure the rest out. If he reaches his hand out, he almost believes he can reach across the distance and touch a reaper.

He's not sure why he wants to.

“Luca, Tann wants us to retreat to a safe distance.”

“What even is a safe distance?” he asks the AI. “This seems safe enough.”

Sam switches to their private channel. “I highly suggest we follow Tann's advice. You're not acting like yourself. Something appears to be affecting your judgment.”

Ryder doesn't want to listen. He's about to ask Kallo to take them even closer but Liam objects more. Then Cora joins in, and Reyes.

“Fine,” he finally relents, though his gut tells him this is the wrong thing to do. “Launch a satellite to monitor activity then take us back.” His eyes remain glued on the reaper in the middle until the Tempest finally turns and it's out of sight. As soon as it's gone, his mind returns to the quarians. Each ark they find seems to be in worse shape than the last. Luckily, there's no third wave coming. But this is still a mess. He wishes he had someone to guide him right now. He doesn't want to be pathfinder, he wants someone to just fucking tell him how best to help.

“Luca,” Reyes whispers to him. “Do you want to talk? Sam will let us know when there's word from Tann.”

A few moments pass and then he nods. Reyes leads him from the bridge and right down the ladder. They enter their shared quarters and Luca sits on the couch.

“How are you feeling?”

Ryder frowns and truly thinks about it. “I don't know. It doesn't matter. We have to focus on the quarians and-”

“Out there, yes. They need help. But in here? While we wait? It's okay to let yourself feel.”

He considers what he's saying.

“You seemed almost under a trance up there. Is it Shepard?”

“Y-yeah,” he lies. Partially lies. That weighs heavy on his mind of course but he can't actually explain what happened to him on the bridge. “It sucks that I'll never know the truth, that I'll always have all these questions.” And that part _is_ the truth. “But I guess that was always the deal coming here.”

“It was, but these are questions no one could've predicted.”

“I just hope he and Kaidan were okay. He took Cal's death so hard...”

“There's no reason to think they weren't okay.”

“Cerberus...” Like Lyla said, maybe there was a reason for what Cal did. There has to be. Cal was a good person. He knows that. And that knowledge will just have to be enough for Ryder.

Shepard would know what to do in this situation. Cal had experience with these reapers. He'd know what their presence in Andromeda meant and if not, he'd be able to find out. Ryder, since he first woke up, has been fumbling in the dark.

“Did I ever tell you how we met?”

*~~~*

A seventeen year old laughs in his friend's tattoo shop. Luca loves watching everyone work, loves watching the art they create on each customer's skin. He's constantly drawing, improving so he too can do this one day. He's currently saving up money from his job at the asari restaurant to afford the necessary equipment. His friend has already agreed to let him apprentice there once he turns eighteen. Even if that’s still a year away, he’s excited.

A new customer enters. He's human. Luca finds him extremely attractive.

“Welcome,” the owner, Gus, greets. “Do you have an appointment?”

“Nah, hoping you take walk-ins. I've heard good things about this place.”

Two artists are free and the man picks one after browsing some of their work on the wall. Luca's mesmerized by the tattoos already on him. Designs color his entire right arm, something like tree branches poke out just enough from his shirt collar. He's so distracted, he misses his name.

“I really like your arm,” Luca says and thinks how weird that'd sound out of context.

He grins. “Thanks. Do you...work here?”

“Nah, he's too young,” Gus says before he can lie and say he's eighteen.

“But I will once I'm old enough. Right now I just talk to customers who like to talk and sweep for Gus sometimes.”

“Well, I'm chatty. You can come sit down with me if you want.”

He definitely does and he listens to the guy's description of what he wants. It's for his best friend who's recently died and Ryder suddenly feels sad. It'll be on his chest near his heart.

“I'm Cal by the way,” he introduces while the artist prepares a sketch.

“Luca. Good to meet you.”

*~~~*

Ryder blinks and looks at Reyes. “His friend was in the Alliance. Got killed by pirates.”

Reyes is about to respond when Sam interrupts. “You have new email, Luca.”

The messages are from Tann and Kandros. Supply shuttles, repair crews, and more scouts are being deployed. Kandros' message informs him that while some Nexus military support is coming, he doesn't want to divide their strength too much. This could very well be a plot to attack their center of command and they can't just blindly separate their forces. Ryder forwards everything to Dima and the pathfinder responds that they'll be fine for the moment.

_'...and Ryder, thank you.'_

They're all just sitting ducks until then. He and Reyes talk a little bit longer until Ryder decides to go out. He expects other people want to speak with him and he feels up for it. But when he reaches the research lab, the only person waiting is his sister.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” she returns.

“The other pathfinders are coming. Supplies, repair crews, a few strikes teams too.”

“I don't even know what to think.”

“I keep thinking about Cal, about my old life. The ark's in trouble and here I am...”

“It's normal. We thought he was dead. That's...kind of a really big deal.”

“Maybe I just don't want to think about the rest of the situation. Raises too many questions.”

“I know I don't. Look at all the trouble Shepard went through with Sovereign.”

“And that was just one.”

They end up talking for a long time. They come no closer to figuring things out but talking to his twin does relieve his stress a bit. It always does. He tries to keep himself busy the rest of the day. He calls the other pathfinders and sends coordinates for them to meet and plan in person.

He takes a shower that 'night' and thinks of all the different scenarios that can happen on that moon. But his thoughts eventually shift back to Shepard. When his head finally hits his pillow and he falls asleep, Luca dreams of the last time he saw Kaidan Alenko.

*~~~*

He hadn't been sure what to wear. It doesn't really matter. His wardrobe is meager, but all black, so there wasn't much to think about. Luca knows he just didn't _want_ to pull on pants and a shirt. He didn't want to come to this memorial. He doesn't want to acknowledge that Commander Shepard—his friend Cal—is dead.

He sees Kaidan across the room talking to someone in an Alliance uniform. The man looks like he hasn't slept in a week. He probably hasn't, Luca knows he's had a rough time of it himself. He doesn't want to walk over there. He doesn't want to talk to Kaidan or start crying. But he has to so he starts dragging his feet.

Later that evening, when this is finally over, they'll meet up again. It'll be just the two of them and they'll share a bottle of whiskey. Together they'll get drunk and share stories and cry about the man they'll both always love.


	2. Chapter 2

“Once the scouts come back, we can plan exactly where we'll all strike.” Ryder looks at his fellow pathfinders, his comrades, friends. They're standing in the Tempest's meeting room. Soon Dima will be part of their fold. Ryder will make sure of it.

“Once the ark is safe, do we have a plan for those reapers?” Avitus asks. The tension and fear in the room rises. Ryder has explained everything he knows, has had Sam send the information off to Tann as well. His pathfinder friends seem to take him at his word.

“We have a satellite monitoring for any changes. We're still not sure if they're...awake. I do want to check them out again.”

“Kandros should just send a team in to blast them to pieces.”

“But what if they're here for a reason?”

“Yeah, to kill us. So hit them first.”

“I don't know,” Vederia says. “Ryder could be right. It's the collectors who are attacking us, not these reapers.”

“They could simply be too damaged from the scourge,” Hayjer adds.

“Look, it's dangerous. No one's doubting that. But we'll talk about it later. Dima needs our full attention right now.”

“Luca, Dima is on the line,” Sam interrupts.

“Thanks.” As soon as the fifth pathfinder appears, they hear yelling and gunfire.

“They've struck the ark,” he tells them. “One of the supply shuttles crashed nearby. They shot it right down.”

“We need to speed things the fuck up then.”

“Are you crazy?!”

He looks at the other pathfinders and Hayjer speaks. “We'll take advantage of the chaos. They can't get us all at once. We can use that as a distraction to sneak the repair crews in.” Probably.

“The other shuttles managed to get a vector before retreating.”

“Sam?” Ryder says.

“Analyzing now. I have a location of where the shot came from.”

“We're on our way, Dima. Just hold on a little longer.”

He nods. “We will.” The call disconnects.

The remaining pathfinders formulate a plan. With the Tempest being the only of its kind, it will fly to the moon first. It can go in quickly and quietly and map out a path for the others. The few strike teams will come next, focusing on the collector's main location while Avitus and Vederia carve a path to the ark. With the collectors distracted, Hayjer can take the repair crews in. Much of the salarian's own crew is trained to aid in repairs, together they should be able to get the ark off the ground. They're lucky the atmosphere isn't hostile. That's the one piece of good news.

Ryder rushes to the bridge to direct Kallo. They're coming at Sam's ground location from behind. The others will fly in from different directions. He's confident that they're fast enough to get through unscathed. They're on quick approach and they enter the atmosphere. This side of the moon is bright, the temperature only 10°C. Tall rolling hills can provide some cover but nothing shows on their scans. The Tempest hugs a blue sky and Ryder's heart is pounding. What are they about to find?

_“Ryder, we have an issue up here.”_

“Talk to me,” he says to Vederia. His fingers curl a little tighter against the railing.

_“A ship's on our radar that wasn't there before.”_

“What the hell, a hidden ship? Is it heading our way?”

_“No. It looks like it's leaving the system. Maybe in the reapers' direction? And it's...big.”_

His eyes widen. “What? Now? We can't let them get there first. Suvi, the satellite?”

“No change in activity.”

_“The Tempest could outrun them,”_ Hayjer says.

“But-”

_“Avitus and I will split up. My ship is no Tempest but it's still fast and it has a gun.”_

_“We can handle it, Ryder,”_ the turian promises. _“We need to find out how the collectors and reapers are related.”_

“Kallo,” he starts. “Change route. Good luck, everyone.”

_“Good luck, Pathfinder.”_

Suvi's watching reaper activity closely, Kallo's guiding the ship. Ryder sees the ping on their radar but they avoid the ship's path. They get an image of it and it's unlike anything they've ever seen. It's huge. Much larger than Luca expected. That is definitely something he doesn't want to tangle with now or ever. If he's honest, he has no actual idea what they're going to do when they reach the reapers. They don't even know if the reapers and collectors are working together or are enemies. All Ryder knows is that they need to get there first. It's the only thing he can think about.

“Ryder,” Suvi says, “we have something. The reaper is moving.”

“Where? Just the one?”

“Yes. And it looks like it's heading towards the scourge.”

“Is it hiding? Does it know we're coming?”

“It feels that way. But is it running from us or the collectors?”

“We'll find out. Kallo, can you follow it?”

“It's dangerous but we're professionals.”

He laughs at that. “You're good at hugging the scourge by this point. Let's just hope the collectors aren't.”

As intimidating as the collector ship looks, it's unable to match the Tempest's speed. They pass it by, while maintaining a large distance, and race off to the reaper. The four surrounding it must be dead, for they're simply drifting.

The crew joins him on the bridge. “What are we expecting?” Cora asks.

“I don't know. We just need to get there before the collectors do.”

He knows it's not a real plan. He knows he's asking everyone to put more trust in him than he deserves. But as they quietly look out the window together, he realizes they _are_ giving him that trust. They have to come out of this okay, he has to make sure they don't regret it. The original nav point is approaching, they're catching up. The reaper isn't moving fast and Ryder thinks about the damage the scourge must have caused. Half the Citadel was blown during Sovereign's brief reign, it took tons of people plus sacrificing the council to stop it. The scourge has taken out almost five of these things without even realizing what it's capable of.

They're moving too quickly to get a real visual on the cluster of dead reapers but it creeps Ryder out anyways. Something will need to be done about them eventually. Even if dead, reapers can't be allowed to drift through Andromeda. The distance between the Tempest and the collectors is widening. Maybe they'll luck out and the others will get eaten by the scourge.

He decides to check on the other pathfinders quickly. “You guys busy? What's going on?”

Vederia answers. _“They retreated when we dropped in. We're still fighting stragglers but the way is cleared for Hayjer. Where are you?”_

“Retreated? We've almost reached the reaper, it’s on the move. Is it just a coincidence that they suddenly pulled back once this other ship left?”

_“It'd be an awfully big one. Do you have a plan yet for when you arrive?”_

He sighs. “No. We'll figure it out. I just wanted to check in. I'll leave you to it.”

_“Damali out.”_

He's glad for one piece of good news—even if the retreat is odd. Next will be the repairs. The Tempest slows down with danger lurking so close, but Kallo presses on.

The bridge is tense and quiet. The planets and stars are far behind them, darkness and uncertainty lie ahead.

Suvi is the one who breaks the silence. Her voice, despite being closer to a whisper, feels too loud. “The reaper stopped moving. It's just...sitting there. Its life sign is still barely a pulse.”

“It has to know we're on its ass,” Vetra says. “Why stop now?”

“Do you think it's...tired?” Liam suggests.

“No,” Luca murmurs. “It thinks it's safe from the collectors here. But it's allowing us to approach.”

And then there's a ping.

“It-it's trying to contact us, Ryder. What...should we do?”

His hands are shaking. So it is aware then. “L-let it through.” He hates that he stutters but he can't help it. He's scared. They all are.

A moment of hesitation but she patches the reaper in. The lights dim and flicker for a quick moment and there are gasps. A soft static fills their ears. Is it trying to take over their systems?

Luca's fingers are gripping the rail so hard, he thinks his hands might break. “Hello?” he whispers cautiously. Hello. It sounds so dumb to him but he has no idea what he's supposed to say to a _reaper._ What would Shepard do right now? How would he react knowing Luca was trying to talk to one of these things?

_“Where...”_ More static. _“...is he...”_

_“Where...”_

_“Where...”_

He looks at his friends with wide eyes. “Tell us why you're here,” he says, finding his voice a little. “You're a long way from home.”

_“Come aboard.”_

“Answer me!”

_“Come aboard...”_

“Luca,” Sam whispers in his mind. “I highly advise against boarding a reaper ship.”

Ryder stares out in the direction of the reaper. “Will you answer my questions if I do? Like why you're here? And just...who exactly are you?”

_“Yes.”_

“You're not actually considering-” Cora starts.

“If you try to pull anything, my people will know and they will destroy you. They have our location.”

_“Come aboard.”_

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” Lyla practically yells.

“There's no way you're boarding a reaper!” Reyes adds.

Everyone is very, _very_ against this idea. But something tugs on Luca's mind. This is the right choice. They need to discover what it wants, why it's here. Boarding it will find them the answers they're searching for.

“Does anyone have a better idea?”

“Yeah! _Not_ boarding the murder machine!” Liam says. “This is crazy!”

“We have more than enough power to destroy a reaper. Even its little friends.” A lie. One reaper? Probably. Five? Well...the others seem to be dead at least. Hopefully it doesn't catch his bluff. Ryder has to do this though. He'll go alone even, he'd prefer it really. “Harm us and you die. Does your offer still stand?”

_“...Come.”_

“I will.” He cuts the call off.

“Ryder!” everyone screams in unison.

“We have to!” he spins around and yells right back. “I'll stay in contact the entire time, I'll take a shuttle so the Tempest can stay back. I know it's a big risk but this is a big fucking thing we're dealing with.”

“You make it sound like you're going alone,” his twin growls.

“And we all know that's not happening,” Reyes joins in.

“Not everyone in here can go,” he says, a little quieter now. “We all know why.”

“Me and Reyes are going,” Lyla says with finality.

“But no one else.” Luca truly believes they'll survive this encounter but he knows they can't take a chance. “Let's suit up. Sam, let Tann and the other pathfinders know what's going on once we're aboard.”

It's a somber affair putting on armor and strapping on guns. Reyes is the obvious choice for piloting the shuttle.

“Why not wait for Kandros to send reinforcements?” Sam asks openly.

“Because the collectors might navigate their way here or our 'friend' might change his mind. This is our best chance. Are we ready?” Lyla and Reyes nod. “Thanks for coming with me. I'm terrified but my gut is telling me we need to board this ship and find out what this thing wants. If it wanted to harm us, it would've by now.”

“I hope that gut of yours is right,” Lyla mutters.

“I'm still not convinced about this,” Reyes says, “but we're with you.”

“Let's talk to the others.” They meet in the research lab and a room of anxious eyes stares at the pathfinder.

“I know you're all worried,” Ryder begins. “I am too. But I don't think this reaper wants to harm us. It's made no move to do so.”

“But what if that's why it lured us here?” someone asks.

“The Tempest is safe at this distance. We have experience dealing with the scourge that the collectors don't. It's now or never, we won't get an opportunity like this again.” He looks at his companions. “We'll be back soon, everyone. Promise.”

He's not one for grand speeches. Ryder leads the way down to the shuttle bay and then Reyes takes over. The twins trust him to fly them out of any questionable situations—he is a seasoned pilot after all. Luca hopes they won't need to put those skills to too much use.

“Last chance to back out,” Lyla offers once they're ready to leave.

“No,” he says simply.

“Then we're off,” Reyes mutters.

They head out and away from the Tempest. Luca feels cold and he's not sure if it's because of the temperature or nerves.

“Sam,” Reyes says. “Can you find me a place to dock when we approach?”

“Yes.”

It takes some time to navigate around the scourge. The journey is quiet. When they're close enough for a scan, they realize just how huge the reaper is and as Sam directs them, Ryder realizes he doesn't know where the hell they're supposed to go. Who are they meeting? Does the reaper have a mobile platform? A central computer? He starts worrying but then they enter through an opened door and his anxiety dissipates. He briefly muses that he should probably feel the opposite right now, but it's a passing thought. The way is lit but still dim, still ominous. Have humans ever witnessed this side of a reaper before? Luca is in awe as he stares out of the shuttle's fake windows.

“The air is breathable,” Sam informs them and he actually sounds slightly surprised. Or maybe Luca's just imagining that. “Gravity is lower than on the Nexus.”

“What... _who_ here needs oxygen?” he asks. The three of them stare at each other.

“I do not know.”

“Maybe it wasn't the actual reaper you talked to?” Lyla says.

“Do you still want to do this, Luca?”

“The way out is closed—but not locked,” Sam announces.

“Whoever it is doesn't want to keep us prisoner. Let's go find out what he wants.” Ryder jumps out of the shuttle first, the others are less enthusiastic. “Who are you?” he shouts into the air.

_“Follow my voice.”_

It's odd hearing him speak without the background static like earlier. Ryder doesn't even realize he's stopped calling this faceless voice 'it.'

“That's impossible,” Lyla starts. “It's coming from all-”

“This way,” Luca states matter-of-factually and he's never been more sure of anything. He can hear the direction, their 'friend' is waiting down this long hallway to the left. It's weird knowing that this is a reaper yet still shaped mostly like a ship. Multiple paths branch off, and no one wants to think about where they lead, but Luca keeps them going straight until they're suddenly not. He veers right, remembering the sound of the voice. It's still darker than he'd like, their flashlights have been switched on, and he wonders what would need air but not light.

This place is like nothing he's ever seen, yet somehow it's also familiar. He doesn't know why he knows to make another right, he just does. But he still doesn't know what waits for them at the end. All he knows is that he’s drawn to it. A few more meters, another hallway. This one is lit just a little better. It takes them to a staircase. They climb it and in front of them is a shut door with a red circle.

It's locked.

Then it turns green.

Luca looks at Lyla then at Reyes. No one speaks. Instead they walk forward together, and the door opens.

A wall of lights and buttons and screens is on the opposite side of the room. Is this the equivalent to the bridge? On one monitor is the Tempest. On others are the scourge, the other reapers. A chair sits in front watching it all.

“Hello?” Luca finally says. He can't tell if someone's truly occupying it or not. Maybe the chair isn't real, maybe this entire thing is just an illusion.

“You...came...”

Luca's heart drops straight through the floor. That voice doesn't have static, it doesn't sound robotic. He knows this voice.

The monitors turn off and he can suddenly see a reflection so clearly. Ryder can see hair, the remains of...armor? The others are ready to pull their weapons at any moment. But not Luca. Before this mysterious being can even finish standing up, Luca's stepping forward, hand out and crying,

_“Cal.”_

Reyes and Lyla gasp and his eyes fill with tears. The person walking around the chair in the middle of this weird control room is _Cal_. His brown hair is a mess, his face dirty, armor fried and cracked. His eyes are unnaturally red and bright and something webs across his skin. But it's him. Luca could never be mistaken in that.

“Cal,” he repeats and wonders why he isn't reacting. “I-it's me. Luca. Cal, please.”

Reyes reaches out to stop him when he takes another step but Ryder shrugs him off. He's slightly encouraged when Cal doesn't move back.

“Where is he?” Shepard asks.

“Who?”

“He's here.”

“Cal, _who?_ ”

Luca feels his gaze pierce him. For just a second, he swears he sees some clarity in those strange eyes.

“Kaidan.”

Luca doesn't think his heart can take much more. “Kaidan...? Cal, listen to me. The year is 2820. We're in the Andromeda galaxy. What are you talking about?”

“Kaidan is here.”

He finally looks to his sister and boyfriend for help but they're just as lost as he is. Probably even moreso. His hands clench and unclench as he thinks but he realizes he _can't_. He can't think because he doesn't understand what's happening.

He stomps forward before anyone can stop him—though Cal doesn't react either way—and grabs his friend's face. He immediately feels his hands buzz, as if his biotics are activated. But there is no blue barrier or flare—just him and Cal standing inside the middle of a reaper.

“Cal, I don’t know how but I know it's you. Please, remember me,” he pleads. “I'm scared. Tell me what's going on.”

Cal's own hands twitch and then lift. It's like he's forgotten not only his memories but how to speak and how to move. His hands hover and then they rest over Ryder's. Luca can barely stand. He's crying now, his mind begging the old Cal to come back.

“Kaidan,” he whispers again.

Now he's scared of the older man. He's scared to tell him the truth when he's in this state—Kaidan's dead and he has been for centuries.

“Do you remember when you first introduced me to Kaidan?” he suddenly asks. “It was in 2183. When you were _fighting_ the...reapers. Do you remember?”

“Kaidan...”

“Yes, Kaidan. We drank and danced in Flux. On the Citadel. And you told me all about these places called Noveria and-and...fuck, some weird little colony. With that plant thing that controlled people?”

“Th-thorian.”

“Yeah, that! You told me all about that! I-I had pink hair at the time and I was telling you how my dad got kicked out of the Alliance and how I’d be next. Don't you remember?”

Everyone waits. 

And they wait.

“Kaidan.”

Luca frowns. Is Cal stuck like permanently? Whatever this even is.

“He's in...Andromeda.”

“Do you know where we are?”

Shepard nods slowly.

“Cal...what happened?” He watches him close his eyes—is he struggling to remember? There are too many questions. Maybe he has too many answers and doesn't know where to begin. Maybe he's just trying to wake his raspy voice.

“I died.”

“I know. I was at the memorial with Kaidan. B-but you're not dead.”

“Cerberus.”

He nods frantically and realizes their hands are still touching. He slowly lets them fall back down to his own sides. Cal follows suit. “I know. They're a terrorist group. I know you worked for them but I don't know why.”

His face scrunches. Luca's eyes follow a lick of black webbing up his cheek. “How?” Cal murmurs.

“How...do I know? The quarians here. Some of their own worked with you. On, uh-” Sam supplies him with the name again, “-Freedom's Progress. Do you remember Veetor?”

A small smile appears. “Tali.”

“Yes! The quarian ark left later than ours so they were still around when that happened. And...what happened with Cerberus?”

“No choice.”

“They forced you?” That makes sense, that-

He shakes his head. “No one else...was doing anything to prepare.”

It isn't quite the answer Luca had hoped for earlier but it doesn't matter anymore. “Then what?”

“Destroyed the collector base. Back to the Alliance. Still did nothing.”

“I'm not surprised. I remember when you were chasing Saren.” Is that destroyed base somehow responsible for the collectors' presence now?

“Kaidan was gone.”

“Gone how?”

“Andromeda.”

“I-I don't know, Cal. Uh, tell me about the Milky Way. What happened?”

“Big battle. Reapers killed people but they were doing what they were made to.”

“And...now we're aboard one.”

“I was given...a choice. I chose to control the reapers, to give them new purpose. No longer killing.”

Luca's mind reels at something so unbelievable. He can't think of words.

“What about the rest of the galaxy?” Lyla demands, unable to stay quiet any longer. “Did they survive too?”

Cal looks at her. He nods. “Rebuilt. I still see all.”

This is big news. It's _good_ news.

“Where's Kaidan?” he asks.

“I-I...if someone like Kaidan were here, he's well known...” He prepares to jump back if necessary, use his biotics. “Well, I'm a pathfinder. I'm pretty sure I'd know. I mean, he would've been one of the first people out of cryo.”

“Wrong. He's here.”

There's no convincing him. Not in this state.

“Maybe...maybe he came under a fake name,” Lyla says carefully “Like Mom.”

“But...why? He knew about the reapers, why would he just leave?”

“Does anything make sense right now?” Reyes asks.

“Kaidan's here.”

“Oh god. Did you really travel two and a half million light years? For Kaidan?” Ryder says. For Kaidan who can't possibly be here. Even if it is a fake name, _someone_ would know the truth. Luca most likely would've heard and...

Cal stares into Ryder's eyes. “Find him.”

*~~~*

“You seem...perky.”

Shepard laughs outright just as he's about to take a swig of coffee. “Not usually a word people associate with me, Garrus.”

“Well, I certainly-”

They're interrupted by someone joining them. Lieutenant Alenko. Garrus immediately notices the way his and Shepard's eyes meet, how Cal grins into his mug.

“So that's why you're so perky.”

Now Kaidan laughs. “Perky, huh?”

“How long have you two been a thing?”

“A few nights,” Cal answers.

“You've kept it secret that long? That must've killed you to hide.”

“It did. But we figured we'd wait for the 'right time' to tell everyone. Been a bit hectic lately.”

When Garrus says they feel like a good match, Kaidan smiles and brushes against Cal's hand. The couple agrees. This is new and exciting and scary, but good too.

*~~~*

“What the hell do we do now?” Reyes asks.

He and the twins are huddled together while Cal has returned to his chair and turned the monitors back on.

“Do we bring him back to the Nexus?” Lyla says.

“Fuckin’ Tann will wanna experiment on him or something. Lock him up. They won't understand.”

“Sam's already told them where we are. It's not like we can hide him.”

“You both heard him, he's starting to regain his memory. I bet the trip here just fried his brain a bit. Six hundred years with nothing but a reaper to talk to? No wonder he's a mess!” He looks over at his friend. “Er, sorry, dude.” But Cal doesn't seem to notice.

“Look.” Shepard points to a monitor then pushes a button. A view of the other reapers. Ryder counts three and realizes they must be looking from the fourth's point of view. The collector ship is there too. It must not have wanted to risk the scourge.

“What are they doing?”

“Stripping it for parts.”

“I thought you could control these things. Blast them away!”

“These reapers are too damaged.”

“Was it the scourge? This stuff around us, that's what we call it.”

He nods. “Damaged this vessel but I was able to save it.”

“We need to stop them.”

“How?” Lyla asks. “This one's still damaged, they'll just overrun it too. The Tempest? Doesn't have a gun.”

“Sam?” Ryder says. “Sam.” Cal looks at him confused when Lyla nor Reyes answers. “I have an AI in my head. He's gotten us out of a lot of trouble.”

He smiles again and looks back at his monitors. “Like Edi.”

He doesn't know who Edi is. Does Shepard have his own AI friend?

Sam finally responds. “Yes, Luca?”

“What's going on outside?”

“Repairs are being made on the Keelah Si'yah. Director Tann is very angry.”

“Director Tann can fuck over.” He hears Cal snort then ask,

“Is he like the council?”

“The Nexus' own version I guess. I didn't tell anyone besides my crew I was coming aboard until I was already here. We...know so little about the reapers. I only know what you told me. It was a huge risk coming but something told me I needed to. Now I think that something was you.”

Cal looks at him and tries to smile before he's focused on the console again. Luca sighs.

“I guess we don't have a choice but to let them steal that reaper. Let the others know, as usual. It's too dangerous for one of us to go alone.”

“It killed me.”

“What?”

“Killed me,” Cal repeats. “Collector ship...destroyed the...Normandy. It killed me.”

Luca's eyes widen. “Fuck,” he whispers. It just makes him even angrier that the Alliance tried to cover his death up. They tried to cover so much up. Every single person who died was their fault, the council's fault. “Uhh, what do we do? Cal, I don't know what they'll want to do with you. Quarantine you probably.”

“No.”

“Yeah, thought so.”

“The collectors came for me.”

“But why?”

“Revenge.”

“For the base...?”

“For everything.”

“Man, we're gonna have to take care of this. Do you know if there's any other ships?”

“Five left the Milky Way. I could only bring them down to four.”

“Are the others on the moon?” Cal doesn't answer, he must not know. “You can't just...stay here. What if the collectors get you? Or the scourge? You have to come back with us, Cal.” If Ryder says his name enough times, maybe Shepard will remember who he used to be.

“Where?” he asks.

“I...I don't know. My ship? Can you leave this thing?”

“Uh-huh.” He's distracted, focused on the other reapers and Ryder wonders,

“Hey, can you feel...pain or something from that?”

“No.”

“Come aboard the Tempest. At least while I talk to Tann. Maybe being on a ship that...isn't a reaper...will jog your memory a bit.”

“And then we'll find Kaidan.”

“I-I promise we'll check it out, okay? But...I can't guarantee anything.”

Cal seems to think about this a moment but then nods. “Okay.”

“Luca,” he hears whispered behind him. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” he says without hesitance. “Maybe Cal's a bit different right now but this is still my friend. I know he's in there, we have to help him.” Shepard stares at him as he talks but Ryder senses no malevolent aura from him. He just needs some help restoring his memories. “Come on, Cal. Come with us.” He holds out his hand.

They all wait.

And then Cal takes his hand and allows himself to be led.


	3. Chapter 3

“I need to see Anderson. You guys do...whatever,” Shepard tells Jacob and Miranda. He still doesn't know them, sure as hell doesn't trust them. But Anderson—he needs to see him and explain how he isn't actually dead. And then he can ask about Kaidan. No one seems able to give him a straight answer and Cal wants to know what sort of top secret mission he's on.

He practically runs to the cabs, nearly crashes on the drive over to the office. He clamors out of the car and jogs through the halls. People stare but he doesn't give a fuck. The only two things he cares about are seeing Anderson and finding Kaidan.

His eyes finally land on the correct door and his jog turns into a sprint. It slides open and on the opposite side of the room, staring out over the Presidium, is one of his closest friends. Anderson turns around and seems stunned for a few moments. Cal is the first one to move. He rushes to close the distance and plants himself firmly in Anderson's arms. They hug for a long time.

“These last couple years have been a hell of a time,” Anderson says as they finally pull apart.

“I...I was asleep for most of it.” He explains Cerberus, explains the current mission. Anderson is not happy. But at the same time, he can't deny that the Alliance and the council have effectively _denied_ everything involving the reapers.

“You're putting yourself in a lot of danger, Cal.”

“We're all in danger. I don't like this either but what else should I do? The council would just ground me. Again.”

“...I know. They wouldn't even agree to a meeting with you.”

“I'm not suddenly part of Cerberus now. This is only a temporary thing between me the Illusive Man. He knows that.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I asked him about the old crew. He told me about everyone but Kaidan. Where is he?” Anderson looks uncomfortable. Is he hesitating because he's Cerberus now or...? “H-he's not dead, is he? He said Kaidan made it out.”

“He's not dead,” Anderson assures. “I just...I'm not at liberty to say right now. Have you talked to his parents? I think you should talk to them.”

Shepard doesn't like that answer whatsoever. “The more you talk, the more I think there was an accident of some sort.”

He shakes his head. “No accident. The situation is...complicated.”

“What time is it in Vancouver right now?”

“Afternoon?”

“I'll be back, Anderson. I have to find out what's going on.”

“I know you do, son. Go.”

*~~~*

The crew is armed and wary and stunned at Luca's stupidity. They're all staring at him and his new companion in the research lab.

“You leave and come back with a reaper?!”

“They're tricking you, Ryder!”

“No!” he argues. “This is the real Shepard. He's remembering stuff the reapers couldn't possibly know. He just needs help, that's why I brought him aboard. It's still him in there.”

“He's reaper-fied! How else could he survive for _six hundred_ years?”

“I'm not saying his body hasn't changed but he's still Cal!” He grunts in frustration. “I need to talk to Tann. Stay here while I explain. Lyla, Reyes, please stay with him.” He gives everyone a warning glance before stomping up the stairs to the meeting room.

“One of the collector ships is stripping the reapers for parts. We can't split what little fire power we have though to stop it,” he says before Tann has a chance to speak first. The salarian looks very angry and when he talks, he sounds angry too. But he responds.

“I agree. I'm still not...completely sure about these reapers but we can't do anything while Hayjer is down there with two crashed collector ships.”

“There’s two? Should I go down and provide ground support?”

“The repairs are going as scheduled. They went in hot but the collectors have pulled back for now.”

“Probably waiting for the other ships,” Luca sighs.

“And is your Sam malfunctioning? Because I simply can't believe the reports I'm hearing.”

“I boarded the reaper ship that was emitting faint life signs. The reapers are dangerous creatures, if it wanted us destroyed then it would've attacked by that point.”

“The level of irresponsibility! And for what? What did you find?”

“Uh...” he begins. But then,

“Who's that?”

Luca turns around and sees Shepard. Lyla and Reyes are standing behind him.

“He insisted,” she says.

Shepard strides over to the table and leans on it, staring at Tann. “I'm Commander Shepard. I came to Andromeda with the reapers.”

“This isn't...” the director mumbles. “Shepard? I'm skeptical, to say the least, that Shepard is still alive. But. What are your intentions?”

“I'm here to find Kaidan Alenko.”

“You...you came all this way...to find someone?”

“He's not here to harm anyone,” Luca interrupts. “He could've hurt me anytime on the ship, but he _didn't_.”

“Well, he can't just stay on the Tempest. He needs-”

“I go where I want.”

“...The quarian ark is still our priority right now. Ryder, do you...need assistance from the other pathfinders?”

“No, I don't. We can talk more later. Once the ark is safe. Also, he says there are four Collector ships. So far only three are accounted for.”

“I will inform the others...”

“Ryder out.”

The salarian disappears. Luca turns to face Shepard and sees the others are gone. They are now alone up here.

“Before anything else, the quarians need to be rescued, Cal.”

He nods.

“And we need to take the collectors out. One ship is with the reapers, he said two are crashed on the moon. But the other...”

“Don't underestimate them. They took down your ark, they cut through the original Normandy like paper. If their plan is to repair the other ships, all the more reason to prepare thoroughly. Their numbers are large. They want revenge on me. If they discover me here, you'll be a target. You should be aware of that.”

“They're already targeting us, it doesn't matter. You getting your memories back is more important.”

Luca notices the way Cal tails him as he speaks with the other pathfinders, as he goes to the bridge to tell Kallo to fly in low on the other side of the moon to observe their enemies. He leads him around and eventually down to cargo, so he can see every angle of the Tempest. Part of him does wonder if it would've been better to leave him on the reaper but the thought of Shepard being completely alone for hundreds of years, with nothing but Kaidan on his mind, breaks his heart. He needs to be around people now. But he also understands everyone's wariness. Luca still doesn't fully get what's going on himself.

“Cal,” he says and spins around. The Nomad is nearby and he remembers the way Kaidan chastised Shepard's driving skills in a cab on the Citadel once. “How much do you remember?”

He looks at Ryder blankly.

“How are you alive? I still don't get it.”

“I don't know.”

His shoulders droop. “You don't remember.”

“I do. But I don't understand it either. The catalyst...gave me a choice. The reapers...I didn't think they deserved to die if there was a way to save them. I...I could've merged synthetic and organic life but...” For the first time since reuniting, Luca sees Cal's eyes fill with tears. “I didn't want to die. Now...now I can control the reapers, they're part of me. It affected my memories but I do remember. I'm starting...to remember.”

Luca is still just as confused as before but seeing Shepard cry right now only confirms that this is the real Cal before him, not some reaper clone. “You set out to stop the reapers and you did that. The Milky Way is still alive because of you. How could that ever be a bad thing?” He carefully steps forwards. Then he leans in and hugs Shepard. His arms rise to carefully wrap around Ryder. It’s still a shock and a miracle to see his friend after he spent so much time grieving his apparent death.

“Thank you...Luca.”

“Of course.” They pull back. “So...what do you think of the ship? How's it stack up to the Normandy?”

“It's...nice. I like it. But I haven't seen any weapons.”

“Heh, yeah, because there isn't one. It allows us better speed and stealth.”

“Huh. Garrus would have a heart attack hearing that.”

“You keep mentioning your crew. Do you remember them?”

He thinks a moment, then nods.

“What are you doing about the last reaper?”

“It's safe where it's at for now. If the collectors come, it'll disappear into the scourge. If it's repaired, it can help fight off the collectors.”

Luca scratches at the back of his head. “Uh...I don't think anyone's going to want to help fix a _reaper_. Or go anywhere near it.”

“It'll help. They're being foolish.”

“No, they're scared. Can you blame them? We weren't there during or after the war. We know very little about them but we all know what they're capable of.”

“They'll see. The others did.”

“I don't know, Cal. Maybe.”

Sam interrupts their conversation. “Dima is on the line with the other pathfinders. The repairs are going as scheduled.”

Luca's eyes widen. “Cal, I have to go. Wander the ship, or you can go to my quarters.” He runs off, trusting Shepard can handle himself. Things are going better than expected. This is their best chance for escape. It's now or maybe never. He gets patched in as he goes to the bridge.

“We've returned to our own ship,” Hayjer says. “We'll take off first with the Keelah Si'yah behind. Kandros' teams will be guarding the area for us.”

“You guys work fast.”

“You were gone for a long time, Ryder. The collectors' retreat was also a big unexpected help.”

“Was I? Whatever, things look good then?” Luca asks. While he's been reuniting with his friend, the others have been rescuing an ark.

“Yes. This is it.”

“Has Tann told you about the third ship? That it's taking apart the other reapers?”

“Yeah,” Vederia says quietly. “And that we should be looking out for a fourth? But we'll form a plan, all of us, back on the Nexus.”

“We're retreating?”

“Yes. Everyone agrees that's the best course of action for now.”

“Okay.”

“Tann said you found something big,” Avitus says.

“Uhh, yeah. I'll explain on the way back, it's a long story.”

Ryder isn't sure how he passes the next batch of time. He introduces Shepard to the crew individually, tries to talk to him about their old lives. But Ryder is mentally exhausted. He eventually returns to his quarters alone and he sleeps. He has no idea how long he's out for but it's Reyes who rouses him later.

“Mm, what's wrong?” Luca murmurs, unable to see his clock from this angle.

“The ark will attempt to take off soon.”

He knows he should jump up, yank pants on, and bolt up the ladder but he enjoys the way Reyes is stroking his hair.

“You have a few minutes,” Reyes says, as if he can read Luca's mind. “Are you okay?”

“Overwhelmed. But I guess that's normal, all things considered.” He groans and forces himself to sit up. “I should go to the bridge.”

Reyes leans down to grab his pants off the floor. He kisses Luca's cheek before handing them off. “Come on.”

A very short time later, they're on the bridge. Cora and Liam come, Vetra too. The other pathfinders are all on the line and they listen to Dima and the ark's captain give orders. Hayjer's ship leaves the ground. Shepard emerges from wherever he was and walks up to Ryder's other side. They watch the planet together.

“Are we ready, Captain?” Dima speaks over the comm.

“We're ready for take off, Pathfinder.”

Ryder's heart is racing. He imagines everyone's is. It's silent onboard the Tempest. The arks weren't made to land on ground, they were built to dock at the Nexus. The Keelah Si'yah is built just a little bit differently but...

The waiting feels like a lifetime and he can only imagine how the crew actually feels. They can finally stop fighting and living in terror of the next attack. Thousands sleep peacefully with no idea about the danger they've been in. They have no knowledge about the collectors. Until they're finally taken out of cryo and told the story, they'll be unaware that the repair crews are a success. The ark has lift off. Those people can't hear the cheering that floods the comms as everyone realizes that they've done it. The quarians and every other species aboard are coming home.

The other pathfinders remain on high alert, just in case the collectors have a plan. The last ship, assuming Shepard's information is correct, is still a concern. But nothing pings their radar. No one's Sam warns of impending danger while the ark escapes the moon's atmosphere.

“Thank you,” Dima says to everyone listening. “Because of you, we shall meet in person on the Nexus.”

Ryder wants to get back as fast as possible so he can talk to Tann and have him actually meet Shepard. Maybe then he'll see that the other man doesn't need to be feared. He glances over and it's only then that he realizes Cal is no longer wearing the crumbled remains of the armor he found him in.

“Where did you get clothes?” He knows they aren't quite the same size but Cal should be able to fit Reyes' stuff.

Shepard looks at him. “Liam offered me an outfit. Your doctor made me sit for an exam as well.”

The longer he stares at Cal, the worse he feels. Nothing will ever fix the way his eyes glow, nothing could possibly hide the blackness that laces across his skin. He's changed forever. But Luca still has to believe that the old Cal is still somewhere in there.

~~~~~

The pathfinders and ark travel in a pack for safety reasons, but Ryder informs them that the Tempest needs to break off. The others understand. Well, sort of—he still hasn't told them about Shepard. This meeting with Tann isn't not something he's looking forward to. He knows he and the director are about to get into a big argument. But he's prepared to fight hard to defend Cal.

Until then, as they speed through space, he spends his free time again trying to remind Shepard of his old life. Occasionally he thinks he's getting through to him. He knows he's ignoring everyone and everything else to be with Cal, but he can't help it. Whatever's wrong with him can't be permanent. It can't.

When the time finally comes for Kallo to announce they're nearing the Nexus, Ryder makes sure he's ready to leave the ship immediately.

“Are you sure it's a good idea to bring him?” Reyes asks.

“If I don't, they'll just concoct their own image of him in their heads. We need to normalize his presence.” He doesn't know what sort of crowd they'll be greeted by, how much Tann has told everyone. Knowing the salarian, not much. Ryder would be happy to make the announcement himself but he has to talk to Tann first. Not for permission, but they need to discuss the situation.

A group of people is waiting. Shepard pauses when he sees them and Ryder wonders if he feels overwhelmed. But as soon as a reporter starts taking pictures, Luca puts a hand on his back and urges him forward. He looks odd, Ryder knows that. But they push through the crowd and Luca ignores everything except the tram. He closes it and they are completely alone.

“Let me try to explain things to Tann first, okay?” Ryder says.

Cal eyes him then nods.

“Do you still see the collectors? Are they in the same spot we left them?”

He nods again.

Luca sighs. “After this meeting, I'll access Nexus records and have Sam search through them for Kaidan's name.”

“...Thank you.”

As the tram slows to a stop, he tells Shepard to follow him and try not to look at anyone. “I'm not trying to hide you,” he promises. “But they were already taking pictures. People judge and they're fucking stupid and-”

“I know, Luca.”

He stops his rant and the corner of his mouth lifts. “Of course. I know you do. Come on.”

They walk through operations together. A few people look their way but it's nothing like the crowd that waited for them just a short while ago. He leads the way into Pathfinder Hall and up the ramps. Tann is already waiting. He and Ryder stare at each other without a word. The salarian's arms are crossed and Luca knows he's desperately clinging on to his composure.

Then finally he nearly yells, “What were you thinking? We barely know anything about those things and you go inside one? And come out with, with _that_?”

“Be very careful how you talk about him,” Luca warns. “This is the same Commander Shepard that saved the Milky Way. He stopped the reapers from destroying everything.”

“By befriending them? Excuse me if I'm not quite convinced, Ryder. Besides, it's been centuries. No human could survive that long. Is he even human?”

Ryder's hand clenches with the desire to punch him. “I'm not denying that he's changed but he's not evil. It's...complicated.”

“It's absurd is what it is. He and the reapers suddenly share a mind now? Is that what you were trying to say?”

“It's not for you to judge. You weren't there, none of us were there when the reapers invaded. What we do know is how Sovereign attacked the Citadel. We know what they're capable of and nothing of that sort has happened.”

“According to your Sam, that's because they've been damaged by the scourge.”

He nods at Shepard. “He's a biotic. He hasn't made a single move against me or anyone on my crew. I know Cal. He's not going to hurt anyone.”

“...So that's why you're so adamant about this. You were friends with Shepard in the Milky Way so now you're willing to risk the entire Nexus—no, the entire cluster even!”

“You're being dramatic.”

“Did he not bring the collectors with him as well?”

“That was an accident. He's just trying to find someone.”

“Alenko, yes, I know. Not the same one who was part of the Normandy crew?”

“Yes, that one.”

“Ryder. Ryder, if someone like him came along, we'd know. If that's even the real reason _he's_ here.”

“Check the records,” Shepard growls.

“I already told you we will,” Ryder calms him. “And why isn't that a good enough reason? I'd do anything to see my boyfriend or my sister if we were ripped apart like that. That's what happens when you actually love somebody.” He knows Tann wants to roll his eyes but Ryder has a very strong opinion about this. “Once he gets his memories back, you'll see that-”

A scoff. “Amnesia too?”

“Well goddamn, he's been alone on a ship-”

“On a reaper-”

“For six hundred years! He needs time to adjust!”

“Will you at least consider keeping him somewhere else? You're only making the Nexus a target. Perhaps Elaaden? With the krogan nearby-”

“Like a fucking prisoner? No, I know him best and I can help him. He's staying with me. And it's not like the collectors haven't already made their move against us.”

“...I hope you understand the security risk you're taking.”

“I'm fully aware of what I'm doing.”

“And what of his reaper friends?”

“Four of them are defunct. As Sam said in his report, we believe one of the collector ships is stripping them for parts. The last one is alive but in very bad shape. Right now, Shepard's hidden it away close enough to the scourge that they can't get to it.”

Tann sighs. “I can see anything I say is irrelevant to you. I caution you to be careful, but right now I have an ark to worry about.

“What does everyone know so far? What about the angara? People were waiting when we landed.”

“I've announced that after some necessary repairs, thanks to the scourge, the ark is on its way. They are unaware of the collectors—or the reapers. The angara on the other hand...”

“Evfra's probably pissed.”

“We have diplomats working very hard to...calm them.”

“Did you send over the little bit of information we do have about all this?”

“Yes. I wouldn't be surprised if you get a phone call soon.”

“Ugh, I don’t need...okay, whatever. When are you telling everyone else? They all know about the distress signal the quarians sent. It won't be long until rumors start—if they haven't already.

“Until we have a concrete plan, why alarm them?”

“All you're doing is letting fear spread. Someone took pictures of Cal in the docking bay. Look at him-”

“Ryder, why don't you let me worry about that? Maybe talk to Kandros next and see what can be done.”

Luca glares but he also agrees that he should talk to Kandros. “Fine, we have nothing more to discuss. Come on, Cal.” He suspects that as long as he has Shepard around, guards are going to hang out a lot closer to them on the Nexus. He supposes he can't blame them, how would he have reacted on the reaper if Cal wasn't somebody he already knew? But he still doesn't trust them not to do anything to Shepard and he will protect him until his mind is completely restored.

His omni-tool pings and he glances over at Shepard. He's not paying attention to Luca, instead more interested in his surroundings. It's a message from Tann and he quickly reads it.

_'Even if he's peaceful right now, how do we know he'll remain that way once he realizes Alenko isn't here?'_

That’s a small fear of Ryder's but he's more worried about Cal's well-being right now. Violence has always surrounded Shepard's life, but he isn't a violent person. This is the man who risked everything to save a galaxy, he wouldn't harm anyone. He'll be angry and upset but they'll deal with it when the time comes. Luca _will_ investigate. And when nothing turns up...

What did happen to Kaidan? Did he die? disappear? Did he live out of the rest of his days as a hermit, unaware that Shepard was alive? Ryder hopes more than anything that Shepard is somehow correct, but he's pretty sure they'll never discover the truth.

~~~~~

Talk of the ark has dominated every single conversation on the Nexus. Rumors are spreading and it angers Luca that Tann still hasn't made a proper announcement about what's going on. Even as a witness to it all, Ryder scarcely believes the situation himself. He's done his best to lay low, especially with Cal’s appearance drawing attention, but people will soon put two and two together if they haven’t already.

He's been talking with Kandros about plans to take care of the collectors. Everyone who knows the situation is livid with him, acting as if Ryder invited the collectors here himself. The turian has also wanted to 'question' Shepard but Ryder insisted it could only happen with him in the room with Cal as well. Shepard has been cooperative overall but he grows impatient quickly. Luca knows that's just his personality. He's explained Cerberus and the collectors, the reaper war in 2186, and his journey to Andromeda—everything he can actually remember at least.

In private, Ryder tries to ask how Cal actually 'knows' that Kaidan's here. But he just shakes his head and says, _“He's here.”_

Despite the questioning, nobody trusts him yet. They probably never will. Cal doesn’t seem to care either way but Ryder’s upset.

_'If the collectors are after him then they'll attack here next!'_

Luca's argument is that this place is armed and fortified and it's better than having an outpost like Podromos targeted instead. At least they'd be able to see an attack coming. The others are not comforted by that. Addison has suggested they ship him off to the krogans but Luca shoots the idea down a second time. He threatens to raise absolute hell if they try to pull anything behind his back. They know his word is good. Shepard at least agrees to only explore the Nexus while accompanied by someone from the Tempest.

Dima sends Ryder a message directly when the ark is close. Usually Luca likes action and excitement, but right now he's in no mood to deal with the crowds that are inevitably gathering to greet the ark. At least one person will try to ask him what's going on and he's tired of dodging the truth. It goes against his beliefs. He figures the quarian pathfinder will probably need to rest for a bit when they arrive so he tells Dima to meet him in Pathfinder Hall when he's up for it. It'll give them a chance to talk privately.

Later in the day, Ryder makes his way there alone. He hasn't told Avitus, Vederia, or Hayjer to meet up. Tann will most likely be eavesdropping in his office but he doesn't really care. He waits on one of the couches, wishing he could lie down and fall asleep.

“Pathfinder Ryder.”

That voice is unmistakable. He stands as the quarian pathfinder walks up to him. “Welcome to the Nexus, Dima.” They shake hands before sitting down together.

“Thank you. It's...better than I imagined.”

“Things have really picked up since the archon's defeat. This room was basically just a storage closet when I got here.”

“I've been talking to the other pathfinders. Every ark has had its issues. I'm sorry for what happened to your father. Alec would be proud of everything you've accomplished.”

“Thanks. How's the rest of your team holding up?”

“They’re shaken and exhausted. But they are now stronger because of this ordeal and we shall honor the memory of those who didn’t make it. Do you know what exactly this scourge is?”

“Not really. Some sort of weird dark matter that showed up a few centuries ago.” He wants to ask what it was like on the moon but he feels wrong bringing it up. They'll be interviewed, Dima and the captain and others will be asked to write up reports. Eventually, the details of their suffering will be made public. “You know about the collectors because of another quarian?”

“Yes, Tali'Zorah. She was on Commander Shepard's crew during the battle on the Citadel in 2183. She came back to the flotilla then rejoined Shepard two years later.”

“Is that the last you heard about her?”

“Before the ark left, yes. But with the collectors here in Andromeda, I can only assume their mission was unsuccessful.”

Ryder's leg starts to bounce a bit. “It was hard leaving and knowing we'd never know what happened to the rest of the galaxy.”

“It was. And what of these reapers? Tali tried to convince the flotilla that the creature Shepard fought was one of these things.”

“But no one believed her. No one believed any of them.”

“If it’s true now, what is to be done about them? They can't be allowed to stay.”

“Oh, uh, I think the plan is to focus on the collectors first. They're the more immediate threat.” Ryder gears himself up for the unavoidable argument. It's only a matter of time before the pathfinders learn of Cal's existence. “Four of the five reapers are basically dead. We...believe the collectors are taking them apart.”

“For what purpose?”

“My guess is to fix their own ships. It's too risky to do anything about it right now though.”

“And the fifth reaper?”

“It's still alive. I boarded it.”

“You...what?”

“The Tempest communicated with it and it invited us aboard. I took a small team inside. Turns out it isn't the reaper itself we talked to, it was Shepard.”

“You don't mean the commander? That's impossible.”

“I know. It's a huge complicated thing. But he's here now on the Nexus.”

“We should kill him, to be safe. There's always a chance he could break out of whatever cell he's in. If that happens, there's no telling what harm he could cause.”

“He's not imprisoned.”

“You found this thing in a reaper and you're just letting him roam free?”

“He's not a _thing,_ Dima. He's Commander Shepard and-”

“Probably the one who ordered the attack on the ark.”

“No, he and the reapers have nothing to do with the collectors attacking. Er, well, not exactly. Look—Cal didn't attack you guys.”

“You're on a first name basis with it?”

“I knew _him_ in the Milky Way. I know he'd never hurt anyone.”

“Your friend is not the same person he was.”

Ryder impatiently waves the statement away. “Trust me, I've heard it all. He agreed to Kandros' questioning, I'll send the transcripts your way.”

“I’m grateful for your help rescuing us, Ryder. But you're making a grave mistake.”

Ryder's gaze doesn't break away when he hears the doors open below. His head only turns when he hears the other pathfinders.

“Kandros wants to call a meeting in a few hours to talk strategy. That angaran diplomat will be there too,” Avitus announces. “...Is everything okay in here?”

“Ryder was explaining the situation to me,” Dima says and leaves it at that. “A few hours is good. That will give me time to check on my people.”

“We heard about who you found,” Vederia says to Ryder.

“I don't feel like discussing it anymore. What's done is done. He's here and he's staying.”

The others don't say anything else and he wonders why they're so quiet. He's sure they're just waiting until he leaves to talk about the situation. He doesn't want to listen to them speak of Cal as if he's a monster. They haven't even met him yet, though he knows his appearance won't help matters. But right now he doesn't want to think about anything. Luca just wants a fucking nap.

He leaves without another word. He enters the tram and sits, ignoring the other passengers the same way they ignore him. He's not sure who's at his apartment. When he arrives at his stop, he takes the pathway that’ll lead him home. It doesn't take him long to discover that only Shepard's around. He stands at the large window overlooking the Nexus. Cal’s back is to him and Ryder's not sure if he's even aware of his presence.

“Is anyone else here?”

“No,” Shepard answers.

Luca looks at him and for the briefest moment, he questions if this was the right decision. Maybe everyone else is right and it was wrong to bring Cal here. He could've left him on the reaper and they could monitor him from afar using the safety of satellites. But...Shepard needs help...and he's his friend...

The image of Cal sitting alone in the dark for six hundred years has plagued Ryder since they found him. He can't have any doubt. He loves Cal, always has, and he needs Luca now more than ever. He doesn't realize that the older man's looking at him.

“How did your meeting with the pathfinder go?”

The sound startles him. “Everyone just keeps lecturing me about you. That I shouldn't trust you, shouldn't have brought you here, that you're not even human, just some...reaper thing.”

“Do you regret bringing me here?”

Ryder's sort of stunned by the question and doesn't answer.

“I can easily steal a shuttle and leave.”

“You're not leaving, asshole. We both know your best chance of finding Kaidan is staying here.” Luca's pulse is racing and his head hurts. He feels so incredibly stressed.

“I'm not a reaper.”

“I know, I know...” He leans back against the wall and stares at the floor.

“I remember you, Luca.”

He glances up to see Cal walking towards him.

“I remember when we met, when you met Kaidan for the first time.”

Ryder barely registers his own head shaking. “I told you all those things.”

“Certain aspects of my life are still blurry but the more time I spend with you, the more about you I remember. What about your eighteenth birthday? When you were finally allowed to be an apprentice at that tattoo shop? I was the first person you ever did work on. But you only knew how to do fucking butterflies.”

Luca laughs. Shepard sounds like his old self right now. “I had no business tattooing anyone at that point.”

“That's why it was on my thigh.” Shepard's fingers touch the exact spot through the fabric of his pants. “So I could cover it up 'just in case.'” Cal's voice goes quiet. “It was orange and black. We laughed at it, but I was happy to be your first client.”

“I...I really missed you, Cal.”

“Things will probably never be normal but...I'm here now.”

“And I'm really glad for that. I don't care what anyone else says. I know who you are.” He can't let stress cloud his mind, not with something so important. He has to be strong for Cal, to defend him. “There's gonna be a pathfinder meeting later on to discuss the collectors. I'll ask Kandros if you can come but I doubt it.”

“If there's anything I can do, let me know.”

“Are you okay in here?”

“Yeah.” He starts walking back to the window. “If I turn my head a certain way, I can almost convince myself this is the Citadel.”

Ryder frowns. He's thought the same thing. “Do you miss the Milky Way?”

“It doesn't have Kaidan.”

Luca approaches the window as well. After a second of hesitation, he puts his head against Cal's shoulder. “I do,” he softly admits.

“Why did you come?”

“At first I wanted the adventure. But then...Lyla. She never doubted, never hesitated. If I would’ve stayed...there's no way we could’ve lived without seeing each other ever again.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Not anymore. I don't know how I'd feel if she was still in a coma or if Id' never met Reyes. We're finally building a home here with the angara. And...now you’re here too.” He watches a man with black hair walk down below. “Do you really think Kaidan's here?”

“Yes.”

“But what if he's not?”

“He is.”

Luca straightens up. “Sam searched through the database earlier. I'm sorry but there's no mention of Kaidan's name anywhere.” Shepard doesn't respond but he knows he heard. “I'm...tired. If Reyes comes home, tell him I'm asleep.”

“Okay.”

He shouldn't have brought it up yet and he feels bad. He takes one last glance around the Nexus then heads for his bedroom. With his back turned, he doesn't see Shepard's hand wipe at his eyes.

~~~~~

Ryder stares at the diagram in the middle of the table. The four other pathfinders, Kandros, and an angaran diplomat named Dahnis sit with him. The diagram shows the locations of the five reapers and the three collector ships. 

“What do we know about this enemy so far? They are completely foreign to _our_ people,” Dahnis asks.

“We don't know much either,” Ryder starts but Kandros cuts him off.

“We have these five reapers out on the far rim of the cluster. The data we do have, thanks to Ryder’s Sam—they are an ancient and powerful machine race. One attacked the Citadel in 2183 but it was defeated. We only just learned about the collectors from Dima here. We've confirmed three of their ships-”

“But-” Ryder interrupts.

“ _However_ , Ryder's...what do I even call him?”

“His. Name.”

“Shepard says there are four ships total. We do know one collector ship was interacting with these reapers.” He highlights them on the interface. “We believe it's to strip them for parts. At the end of the day, they’re still built like ships. Two other collector ships are stranded on the moon.”

“But now that the ark is gone, whoever remains on the moon will most likely be picked up by the other ships, no?” says Hayjer.

“Unless they're using reaper parts to repair those ones too,” Ryder mutters.

“So then what do we do?”

“There's no point in sitting on our asses,” Avitus says. “We know their location, we take the fight to them now while they're still recovering.”

“But what if that's just a distraction so they can attack the Nexus?” Vederia suggests.

Ryder jumps in again. “They haven't yet-”

“But now Shepard is here.”

“We wouldn't send every strike team. We have a lot more people now than we ever did during the battle with the Archon anyways. The ark was taken down because it was already fucked up by the scourge. We won't have that problem.” But not everyone's sold on dividing their military strength. Ryder doesn't see the logic in hiding on the Nexus. “There's one reaper left,” he continues. “Cal hid it close to the scourge so the collectors couldn't touch it. If we repaired it-”

“Absolutely not!” Dima tells him.

“Think of the damage it could do to them!”

“Exactly. Think of the _damage_ it could do. Do you not understand what they're capable of?”

“Oh please, you have experience with the collectors but I know more about the reapers than anyone else here.”

“Your...Shepard, whatever he is,” Kandros starts and Ryder's already pissed off, “is not a reliable source of information. The real Shepard is likely dead and that thing is a reaper clone. It can't be trusted just because Shepard used to be friends with some kid in the Milky Way.”

Ryder's hands slam against the table and he's out of his chair in an instant. “ _He. He_ fought to protect an entire fucking galaxy while we all ran away like cowards! And now _he_ can help us. But _he_ needs help himself and yet here you are...!” This is what always happens. Six centuries and two and a half million light years still can't spare Cal the harsh criticisms of others who don't understand.

He senses somebody next to him and sees that it's Avitus. “Calm down,” the turian says quietly, a hand on his shoulder. But Ryder's angry and there are tears in his eyes.

“Do you really believe he traveled all this way for a _boyfriend_?”

Avitus looks at the other turian. “Haven't you ever loved someone? Everything we've faced in this galaxy and that's what you find so unbelievable?”

“I'm looking at things realistically,” Kandros argues. “Sorry if 'the power of love' doesn't make me trust the humanoid reaper.”

Ryder feels like he's being insulted directly. He likes Kandros but right now he could punch him. “If you would just let him in here with us, you'd see-”

“That's a terrible idea,” Dima says bluntly.

“So he can report our plans back to the collectors?”

“He's not-”

“I have yet to see anything to convince me otherwise,” the quarian says. “Even you say he's the reason they came in the first place. He's the reason my ark was shot down, why my people died. That thing knew they were following but he brought them here anyways. If nothing else, he's beyond selfish.”

“He had no idea what would happen. None of us did. You can't blame him for the collectors being evil.”

“And the reapers aren't?”

“Not anymore. During the war, everyone came together and built this thing called the catalyst.” Everyone must know the story by now but they obviously need to hear it again. “There was this AI, Shepard had to make a choice.”

“We know, Ryder,” Kandros interrupts. “He could've destroyed the reapers, but didn't.”

“It wasn't their fault, it was their creators’ fault!”

“No good could ever come from Shepard's decision,” Dima says. “Just look at the geth.”

Luca doesn't know the history between the geth and quarians other than they were kicked off Rannoch. He doesn't know the how or the why behind it. “Just because the geth are bad doesn't mean all synthetic life is. How many time have I been shot at by another human or turian? Should we ban ourselves too? That's a terrible argument.”

“You are incredibly naive.”

Kandros interrupts, knowing exactly how combative Luca can be. “We are not repairing the reaper, Ryder.”

“Fine,” he bites out.

“So Shepard can control the reapers directly?” Avitus asks.

Yeah. But he's not 100% sure how.”

“I doubt that connection is something we'll ever fully understand. He's just a part of them now. But how would he feel about sacrificing the last one?”

“I...don't know. He wants to help though.”

“We can try to bait them with it. Maybe they are repairing their own ships. They'll want this last one, maybe they'll think Shepard's aboard. Even if just the one ship comes, once the fighting starts, the rest will follow. We don't have to repair it, he just has to move it to a different location.”

“You will have fire support from the Resistance as well,” Dahnis states. “This is a threat to all of us.”

Luca still thinks it's a mistake not to fix it and use its full strength. “We'll have to ask him. Kandros wouldn't let him into this meeting.”

“And I'm not going to sit here and explain why again.” But Kandros does tell Ryder to call him in so they can talk. He sends a message out to his crew, he thinks Cal is still with Cora right now. When he left, they were talking about different biotic techniques.

The room falls silent a few minutes later, when he walks in and stands intimidatingly at the head of the table. He looks around at them with red glowing eyes and it hurts Luca that they probably see a monster. It hurts because that's the same way people viewed him in the Milky Way. But Ryder isn't frightened or intimidated. Right now he just sees Cal, his friend who's ready to do what it takes to get this mission done.

“What's the plan?” Shepard asks.

“That's what we need to ask you about,” Kandros explains. “We're thinking of using the last functional reaper as bait. Ryder says you can control them.”

“I can.”

“Would they fall for that?” Vederia says.

“Our best chance would be to repair the reaper. Their ships would stand no chance.”

“We're not repairing those monsters!” Dima tells him. “The council denied their existence but we know of the damage Saren and his reaper did.”

“Everyone here has been so quick to condemn me and the reapers. Wish you would've stayed behind to help me convince everyone else. But your fears are misplaced. I control them now, together we helped rebuild the Milky Way. I have made no moves against you. The collectors are the ones who fought your ark, they're the ones we need to fight now. When I was with Cerberus, they harvested human colonies. They were using them to build another reaper. Now that the ark is rescued, they’re focusing on repairing their own ships. Once that’s done—they may grow bold. Or desperate. They may start abducting people to get my attention. We need to act fast.”

“You have brought us _nothing_ but problems.”

Shepard goes silent. Luca wonders if he agrees with the statement. Finally he says quietly, “I'm trying to offer solutions. You have my reaper for whatever plans you decide on.”

“Why did you come here?” Dima asks.

“To find someone.”

“And what will you do when they're not here? Will you go on a rampage? Crash your reaper into the Nexus?”

“He _is_ here.”

“You're not answering my question.”

Cal glares at him. “I am not a monster! I was willing to give up everything to save the galaxy while the council buried their heads in the sand. They're alive all these years later because of me and my crew. And when it came time to finally fight the reapers head-on? Your people started a war with the geth and I had to clean up their mess. Don't talk to me like you're superior.”

“They attacked the geth?”

“We're supposed to be talking about strategy-” Kandros tries to interrupt.

“These are my people though. What happened to them?”

Shepard narrows his eyes at Dima. “They share Rannoch with the geth. They haven't needed suits for centuries. We cured the genophage too.”

The other pathfinders are shocked. They must not have had time to read the transcripts yet. And Shepard reminds them of that as they fire off questions.

“They've already interrogated me. The report is there for you to read. Kandros is right—we should be talking about the collectors right now.”

“I think we should take a break,” the turian sighs.

“Agreed,” Luca says quickly. He feels angry and wants to cool off.

“Let's meet back in fifteen.”

“Shepard, wait.”

Cal and Luca both turn towards Dima.

“Any questions you have can be answered in the report,” Ryder tells him. “They were thorough.”

The quarian ignores him. “The geth are working together with my people?”

“Yes, they are. I helped the quarians but make no mistake—I was against the war. They acted irresponsibly in a very difficult time. If you still have questions after you read the report, I’ll answer them. But not before.”

Cal leaves without another word. All the pathfinders look at Ryder as he runs to catch up. Before he can say anything to the older man, his omni-tool pings. He watches Shepard walk away before glancing back down.

_'If the rumors are true, come to Voeld.'_

Ryder stares at the unsigned email. Rumors? There’s tons of those floating around. Which ones...can this person mean Cal? He knows some people are talking and that everyone is looking but Ryder's tried to keep him somewhat hidden. He looks up and sees Shepard a few meters away, staring out the large window. The photos. From that reporter when they first arrived.

'Who are you?' he types. 'What rumors?'

But instead of an answer, he receives coordinates.

“This is near the Initiative's outpost,” Sam informs him.

“Can you find out who sent this?”

“I am unable to trace the source, Luca.”

He bounces his foot against the ground. “Cal,” he calls out as he goes over to him.

“There's something you need to know.”

“Oh. Um, okay? What's wrong?”

Shepard turns from the window and looks at him directly. “They're repairing one of the reapers.”

“Just one?”

“As far as I can tell, yes.”

“That's good then, right? They do the hard work, then you can use it against them.”

“Yes. We'll have a reaper at our disposal whether the others want it or not. But...there's one more thing. I can't trust this with anyone else. Nobody here knows the collectors' true origins. They used to be protheans.”

_“What?”_

He sighs. “The reapers are capable of something called indoctrination.”

“That doesn't sound good.”

“It's not. Or wasn’t. It's this...signal they give off. They used it to enslave the protheans and they used it during this cycle’s war too. I haven’t used it since I took control but if the collectors are spending so much time around it...”

“Then you can basically force them under your control, right? Can you yourself emit that sort of signal?”

“No, I can’t. But I'm afraid to tell anyone else.”

“You...you can’t tell anyone. They'll flip out and kick you from the Nexus if they think you have mind-control powers. Even I won't be able to stop it. Once the reaper is fixed, we can decide what to do about that part.”

“Listen, I don't know if the collectors will become indoctrinated. It's not an instantaneous process.”

“Even if it slows them down just a little, that's better than nothing. Do you know how long until they have it running again?”

He shakes his head. “ _If_ they can get it running.”

“Just...keep me posted. I need to talk to you too. I just got an email.”

“From who?”

“I don't know. All they said was, 'If the rumors are true, come to Voeld' then they sent a coordinates. Sam can't trace it. But look.” He opens his omni-tool and searches for the pictures of Shepard. It doesn’t take long at all. “The only rumor I can think of is...you.”

“Kaidan,” he whispers. “It's either him or someone looking for a fight.”

“A Saren sympathizer maybe?”

“Could be. Or someone from the Reds, or Torfan, or...Kaidan.”

Ryder sighs. “Look, I'm saying this as your friend—don't get your hopes up. Sam's combed through all the Initiative records, Kaidan's name isn't there. We have no idea who this person is or what they want. Could be a group looking to kidnap you or something.”

He snorts. “Let them try.”

Luca replies to the message with nothing more than, 'Fine.'

He has to tell the others. When they return to the hall, he expects everyone to tell him not to go. 'Too dangerous, there's no time.' But it's the opposite. By the time he returns, they'll be ready for an assault. Luca then realizes that they're probably relieved not to have to deal with two stubborn people and more importantly, it gets Cal off the station. They're no longer a target.

“By the way,” Kandros stops them before they leave. “Tann's decided to announce the collectors' presence in Heleus.”

“Kinda glad I won't be around for that then,” Luca mutters. “We'll be back as fast as possible.”

No matter how much they argue about something, they're still a team. Ryder's not going to just abandon them but he wants to check this out too. He doesn't believe it's Kaidan and he's extremely wary. They need to make sure this person (or people) isn't a threat. But Ryder feels bad for his friend. Shepard refuses to acknowledge that Kaidan might not be in Andromeda. Luca just doesn't see how he'd end up here or why it'd be a secret. They were friends. How could Kaidan not let him know? Sure, they lost touch after the memorial but...

Cal seems so sure. But Ryder's more worried about the danger they're probably putting themselves in. He'd never forgive himself if something happened to Cal. He can handle himself in a fight—that's an understatement. But if he harmed a civilian or an angara, no matter the circumstances, nobody in Andromeda would ever trust him. They would make his life hell.

Shepard may be stronger, and older, and have more experience but this is Ryder's territory. It's his duty to keep his friend safe here.

*~~~*

“I didn't keep him safe.”

Luca's starting to feel tipsy from the alcohol but he does his best to concentrate on Kaidan's slurred words.

“He ordered me to go when I shouldn't have. My instincts told me to stay.” He looks at Luca with teary eyes. “I shouldn't have left him.”

Ryder knows nothing he can say will bring comfort so instead of words, he offers the whiskey bottle. Kaidan grabs it and takes a large swig.

“Cal hates whiskey,” he mutters.

“He likes vodka,” Ryder says. He puts a hand on the lieutenant's knee. “You couldn't have known.”

The tears spill. They're both crying.

“I miss him.”

“I miss him too, Kaidan.”

*~~~*

Fingers brush up and down his back. Luca's eyes are closed and he's relaxed, but he knows Reyes is not happy in their quarters on the Tempest. Cal is only half a room away, sleeping on the couch. Honestly, Ryder's not even sure if he _needs_ sleep. But even though Shepard's regained more of his memories, Luca knows his crew still wouldn't be comfortable sharing quarters with him.

So, unhappy Reyes instead of unhappy everyone else. He knows Shepard doesn't care either way. But he's definitely never leaving him alone on the Nexus or one of the colonies—he sure as fuck doesn't trust Tann.

This awkward arrangement will suffice. It's...temporary after all. They'll go to Voeld and return to the Nexus as soon as possible. But the next trip? And the trip after that? There's just no telling how long 'temporary' really is. But now's not the time for those thoughts.

“Are you alright?” Luca asks his boyfriend.

“Are you talking to me or our...guest?”

He decides to ignore the tone. “You're extra quiet tonight.”

“Ha, can you blame me?”

He doesn't know what to say in response.

“I'm fine, Luca. Still getting used to things.”

“It won't be forever. Just to Voeld and back.”

The fingers along his spine stop moving but Reyes kisses the top of his head instead. Luca's eyes flit over to the couch. He can't see Cal, just the back of the furniture. He wonders if he's paying attention, if he's jealous of Ryder and Reyes. Part of him wants to ask Cal what he's thinking about right now but he doesn't and instead closes his eyes for sleep.

*~~~*

His entire body shakes with anxiety as he calls Kaidan's parents thousands of light years away in Canada. He's back on the Normandy, risking Cerberus eavesdropping instead of random passersby on the Citadel. What if they don't answer? He can't handle not knowing-

A gasp. His dad is now on the screen.

_“Cal?”_

“Uh, hey,” he says. Shepard never knows what to say to the people who've thought him dead the last two years. Is there really an appropriate greeting for that?

“Is that really you?”

“Yeah, it's...a long story. Where's Evelyn?” He's met the couple once. He and Kaidan stayed at their orchard for a week after Sovereign’s defeat. It was a good time, they treated him like family.

“Let me get her on the line.”

Her reaction is the same shock Shepard’s used to by now. He explains what happened—how he died but Cerberus spent two years and billions of credits to bring him back. “I'm working with them for now but it's only temporary because the Alliance and council still won’t acknowledge the reapers at all. I know Kaidan's not gonna be happy but...I'm hoping if he lets me explain...” He clears his throat. “I tried to ask Anderson where he is, I assumed he was on some secret mission. But then he told me to call you guys and suddenly I'm really scared.”

They both look heartbroken and that does nothing to alleviate his worry. What's happened to Kaidan? What sort of accident was he in?

“Cal,” his mom begins. “I'm sorry, but there is something you need to know.”

*~~~*

“I hate the cold.”

“I know,” Ryder groans. “I remember your complaints about Noveria. Do you have your scarf? And hat? They'll keep you warm.”

It's...strange looking at him right now, in clothing Ryder stole from Reyes. His eyes are still an intimidating red, parts of his skin are webbed with black, but he looks like his old self. Even bundled up, he looks like a force to be reckoned with. He pulls the hat over his head and wraps the scarf over the lower half of his face then they head for the nomad. Everyone's already said bye to them. Everyone's already expressed their concern about the situation. But Luca insisted he and Cal go alone because this mystery person insisted he and his _companion_ go alone. He wonders if anyone from the Tempest will try to follow.

“It used to be a lot colder here,” Luca says as they climb in. “But then we found one of the vaults I was telling you about and now it's warmer. Well, not _warm_ but manageable now.”

“Ugh. Snow is awful.” He looks around. “This is similar to the mako. No gun though.”

“No gun. But it's fast and agile. I'm a pretty good driver—unlike some people I know.”

Cal pulls the scarf down and grins. “I drive just fine for someone without a license.”

“Uh-huh.”

Months have passed since their last time on this frigid planet. Luca hasn't missed it. He follows the coordinates, the journey will only be a few short minutes. It's quiet now, each of them thinking of the potential ways this meeting can go.

“We're here,” Luca announces. It's right on the road, with heaters dug into the snow, but devoid of life. It's a rocky area but there's no hiding the vehicle a short distance away. It nudges closer. When it stops, Ryder decides to get out. Cal follows.

“Well?” Luca shouts into the cold air. He has a pistol strapped to his waist and his biotics are ready just in case. “Why the secrecy? Who are you?” His omni-tool pings and he reads the new message. “They say take off your hat and scarf,” he tells Shepard, “but I don't think-”

It doesn't matter what he thinks. Cal's already ripping them off and tossing them into the snow. The world is quiet and still for a few moments. But then the other vehicle's door opens and someone stumbles out. Luca hears himself gasp but he feels like he's outside himself. Cal seems frozen like a block of ice.

There's no mistaking it. Standing, staring at them from across the road is Kaidan Alenko. There's no mistaking that stunned face.

Nobody is moving, Ryder is scarcely breathing. Shepard was right. In 2185, Kaidan abandoned his life to make a new one in Andromeda.

“Kaidan!” Cal suddenly cries and the sound pierces their ears.

Kaidan tries to run forward but he trips and crashes down to his knees in the snow. It doesn't matter though because Cal is already rushing the distance.

It doesn't matter how either man got to this point in time and space.

It doesn't matter that Kaidan left everything behind for this galaxy.

It doesn't matter that Cal flew here on a reaper.

What matters is the way their arms wrap around each other and their lips press together so naturally, as if no time has passed at all.

Kaidan and Shepard are reunited. For this moment, that is all that matters.


	4. Chapter 4

“Andromeda...?” Shepard whispers. “I don't...I don't get it.”

“The Andromeda Initiative,” Evelyn explains. “It's a project to take tens of thousands to the Andromeda galaxy. Multiple species, not just humans. They'll arrive in about six hundred years-”

“Kaidan wouldn't join something like that, not when he has friends and family here. Not when he knows about the reapers.”

“He was very against it initially,” his dad says. “I learned about it through an old Alliance contact. We asked him to think about it and he flat out refused for exactly those reasons. But eventually he came back to me about it and we discussed it many, many times. It took a lot of convincing to get him to go.”

“Why would you do that?”

“People are going to die. We know that, you know that, Kaidan knew it. At the time, even you were dead. Sacrifices will need to be made. Watching Kaidan go...was a sacrifice. But he and the others will get to live on in another galaxy safe from what's happening here. They're going to need help settling with whatever aliens already live there. It’ll take a lot of hard work but Kaidan has a lot to offer.”

“I can't believe he'd just abandon everything. Was...did I have something to do with his decision?”

The silence is his answer.

“He was still grieving,” Evelyn eventually says. “Kaidan loved you—still loves you. But any one person couldn't be solely responsible for such a large decision. Do I think his grief played a part? Yes, but so did many other things.”

It still feels like a knife directly through his chest. They all know Kaidan never would've considered it if Cal was still alive. Now Kaidan's gone and he's the reason why. He's the reason why they will never have a reunion, why he'll never get to explain that he's _not_ dead, why they won't defeat the reapers together. It's his fault these two will never see their son ever again. He doesn't know what to do. He feels lightheaded, he just might fall if he tries to move right now.

“W-when did they leave?”

“...Almost two months ago now.”

So close. They were so close to seeing each other again. Cal missed him by two measly months. Now he's gone. Forever. There's no bringing Kaidan back like Cerberus did with him.

His eyes burn. Kaidan's not dead but it sure feels like it. By the time he wakes up, he will be too far in time and space for Shepard to see. Within moments, Cal's life has suddenly turned empty. The fight grows even harder. Let the reapers come, right now he truly doesn't care.

“Cal, we know how hard this is. But Kaidan will help humanity forge a new path in a new galaxy. And...he won't be alone.”

“What do you mean?”

“Once Kaidan learned more, he said he knew somebody on the pathfinder team. Alec Ryder is one of the big names onboard. Kaidan knows his son.”

“Luca,” he whispers. He'd done some searching for his close friend and came up with nothing. But his main focus was Kaidan so he hadn't thought much of it—the kid's always enjoyed living off the grid. Shepard's not sure he can handle anymore bad news. “They're both gone...”

“Kaid didn't want him to know though. He didn't want to be assigned on the pathfinder team.”

“Why?”

“Simply said it'd be too hard. I'm sure he'll contact that boy once they arrive. He just needs a little time to get used to things over there.”

He nods but the action makes his head hurt.

“Cal...it's a miracle that you’re okay. Take the time you need to process this and remember—you always have a home back on Earth.”

Shepard doesn't remember the rest of the conversation but it ends quickly after that, with Cal promising to keep in touch. He stands in the conference room completely alone. His eyes bore into the wall. He doesn't know what to do. No wonder the Illusive Man, Miranda, Anderson couldn't tell him anything about Kaidan's whereabouts. He still feels lightheaded, now feels like the entire weight of the Normandy is crushing his chest.

He just wants Kaidan in his arms again. They've never gotten to say goodbye or say how much they love each other one last time. Cal will never have the opportunity. Kaidan is gone.

Kaidan is gone.

He turns around but when he takes a step, his leg buckles and he lets himself fall. His lungs force him to take a deep, broken breath before exhaling it as a weak cry. The tears come as the realization hits him harder and he can't hold back. His body doesn't know what to do with itself as his mind processes this horrible information. Cal is scared and he needs Kaidan now more than ever.

His fists pound the floor until his biotics activate and he angrily punches it. His hand doesn't quite break but he'll probably need to see Chakwas. But any pain is good pain if it distracts him. He could get shot right now and he'd probably welcome it.

He finally pushes himself up and stumbles over to the door, just to fall against the wall. He doesn't want to leave the privacy of this room—or the illusion of privacy. Because the Illusive Man and Edi are surely watching. Shepard doesn't care about the Alliance but he's not Cerberus either. He doesn't know these people on his ship and he doesn't want them seeing him in this state. This isn't his old crew, these strangers aren't his friends. They don't care about him the way Garrus or Wrex or Liara did. The way Kaidan did.

The fight against the reapers seemed a little more doable with his friends and lover at his side. But this...this entire thing is all wrong and part of him wishes Cerberus never woke him up.

The door slides open and he leaves the communications room. As he heads for the med bay, the rest of the ship barely takes notice of him. They are unaware of the gravity of the situation, they are unaware that tens of thousands are hurling through dark space on a trip to the Andromeda galaxy, they are unaware that Cal has just received some of the worst news he could ever receive. But he knows they wouldn't care.

He hates everyone right now. He doesn't want to look at any of these Cerberus shills. He just needs Kaidan.

*~~~*

“How?” Kaidan whispers. Shepard's face is in his hands and he's silent. They're all still standing in the middle of the road, nothing but snow surrounding them. “How?” he repeats.

“The reapers,” Cal says.

Luca feels like an intruder but there's nowhere for him to go, and Cal might need help explaining things.

But Kaidan interrupts him before he can delve into detail. “Reapers...oh, god. I'm sorry, Cal. I'm so, so sorry. I-I left everyone behind. I left them. I left them with the reapers and...and...”

Shepard grabs the hands on his face and places them to his chest. “We stopped them. The galaxy is fine.”

“But you died. How are you here?”

“You won't believe me.”

“Try. What happened to your eyes?”

“My...? Oh. It's the cybernetic implants. Cerberus brought me back to life. I worked with them for a little bit—to discover why human colonies were going missing.”

“What? _Cerberus?_ ”

“Yeah. The Illusive Man, he was the only one taking the reapers seriously. For a time. I investigated the collectors. Uh, that salarian—Tann, has he explained-”

“Yeah,” Kaidan tells him. “News spread of them just before you guys came. Rumors of _you_ spread. What happened?”

“They killed the people they kidnapped and tried to use them to build a reaper.. It was...awful. But we stopped them, I blew up their base, I fought the remains of them during the war. They followed me here for revenge. Because what else could they do I guess.”

“But how did you get here? How are you still alive after all this time?”

“The reapers. We built this weapon during the war, the crucible, blueprints from all the cycles before us. Everyone helped, the geth, the rachni...but there was one more part. The catalyst. It was this...AI thing or...something. It gave me a choice. Destroy the reapers and all synthetic life. Merge synthetics and organics—and die in the process. Or control the reapers. And give up my humanity. Become one with them. I chose to control them.”

Kaidan looks like he might faint. Luca wonders if he believes it. No one speaks for a long time. But Kaidan doesn't pull his hands away or step back.

Finally he whispers, “Are you...you?”

He nods. “I'm still trying to remember parts of my old life but I've never forgotten you.”

Kaidan smiles but it still looks so sad to Ryder. “When did Cerberus wake you up?”

Shepard's eyes glisten. “A couple months after you left. Not even. You were the first thing I asked about. But nobody could tell me where you were. Anderson said to call your parents and I did...and they told me...”

“I was gone.”

“We just missed each other. I came back just a little too late. Our time together was cut too short. Once I had control of the reapers, I knew what I had to do. I had to see you again, Kay.”

Kaidan brushes a tear away from Cal's eye. “Leaving was the hardest decision I've ever made. Losing you hurt so much. And with you gone, nobody was doing anything. They denied the reapers, cast doubt onto everything you did. They were going to get everyone killed.”

“They almost did.”

“I should've stayed. But I thought coming here could...I don't know. I let myself think this was the galaxy's best hope for survival. I tried, Cal, I swear. I tried to make everyone see the danger. But they refused, even the old crew fell apart and drifted away. So I thought I could help here instead. Sometimes the Milky Way is all I can think about. But...I am helping here. The angara, they...I help the Resistance. The kett are mostly gone but they're letting us rebuild together. I’ve helped train people, I have experience for when stragglers do attack. We're making a real home here.” He shakes his head. “But I still abandoned you, and my parents, and...everyone.”

“The galaxy rebuilt too. They recovered. I made sure the reapers helped. You did what you could back then-”

“And it wasn't enough. I fucked up.”

“No, you didn't,” Luca finally says.

Kaidan looks at him. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I wanted to, eventually. But I had to sort through my own issues first.”

“Why the secrecy now then?”

“I...I didn't know if it was Cal for sure. How could it be, y’know? Rumors are spreading about the human pathfinder's mysterious 'friend.' When I saw the pictures...” His sigh is shaky. “I wasn't sure how I'd react if I saw you walking up with someone that wasn't him. I didn't think that'd be the best time for our reunion.”

Ryder still feels hurt but now's not the time for that. “When did they wake you from cryo?”

“When this outpost was established. I came under a fake identity, made a deal with someone to have my name struck from the records. I think...no, I know part of me was ashamed about leaving. I didn't want anyone else to recognize me. But when I heard you were fighting the kett, I almost came to you. But then the angara needed help here and I decided to stay.” He stares at Ryder, who's starting to shiver now. “I have a home here, we can talk more there.”

“Okay.” He and Shepard meet eyes and Luca nods. He watches the two of them get into the other vehicle together before he turns around and treks through the snow back to the nomad.

~~~~~

Ryder is grateful to be inside near a space heater. Kaidan and Shepard sit right next to each other while Luca explains how he found Cal.

“You boarded a reaper,” Kaidan deadpans. “Knowing how dangerous they were in the Milky Way.”

“Yep. And it worked out. Good call, Luca,” Ryder says.

Kaidan shakes his head. “What's being done about the collectors? Cal says there’s four ships.”

“Yeah, he blasted the fifth one to pieces. Two are crashed on that moon we found the quarians on. Another's trying to fix one of the reapers. The Nexus is still skeptical about the last one since only Cal can confirm its existence.”

“How’s everyone been treating you?” he asks Shepard.

“Warily. Like I never left the Milky Way,” he jokes. “Things would be a lot harder without Luca. They probably would've attacked me thinking I was the enemy. I told them they should repair my reaper, that it could help.”

“Um, I'm sure it would but uh...”

“They're very against the idea,” Ryder says. “Cal offered it as bait instead. But I agree we could use that firepower. Not just for the collectors but any threat. The kett are gone for now but...”

“I don't think the angara would be too pleased with us having something so dangerous.”

“Yeah, well, neither is the Nexus. We were discussing the best course of action before I left. But it doesn't matter. The collectors are trying to repair one themselves. Cal and I decided not to say anything until it's already done. It would only add an extra layer of stress to the arguing.”

“I won't feel too bad about taking you away from that then.”

“We could really use someone with your skill. There's gonna be a fight. No doubt about that.”

He looks at Shepard. “Just like old times?”

Cal grins. “Something like that.”

But they all know nothing will ever truly be like how it was.

Kaidan's acted calm so far but Ryder wants to know if this has really hit him yet. Can he feel that this is the real Cal like how Luca can feel it? They're going to need a lot of time to talk about it. He opens his omni-tool and accesses the list of colonists on the planet. “I can arrange for you to leave and get a transfer in your place. The outpost has enough people to handle things until then.”

“Give me the rest of the day to get my things in order. Then we can go to the Nexus and...beat the collectors.”

He nods. “I'll head back to the Tempest then. Message me when you two are ready.” He stands and steps towards the door.

“Luca, wait.” He looks back and sees Cal get up. Shepard walks over then hugs him.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. I'm happy, more than happy, for both of you.”

There's still much to discuss but that can wait a little while. For now, Kaidan and Shepard deserve some time together. Ryder leaves them and returns to the Tempest alone.


	5. Chapter 5

It's quiet in the small room. There's so much to say but neither man knows where to start. Kaidan stands up and holds his hand out.

“Come on.”

Shepard takes it and allows himself to be led into the other room. It consists of a bed, a closet, and a dresser and little else. But on that dresser is a picture. Almost immediately, it catches Cal's eye and he picks it up. Him and Kaidan. At the orchard. He's happy that he remembers the trip well.

It feels like a fog has been slowly lifting from his mind ever since Ryder found him. He had recognized Luca but for all those years he'd been so focused on Kaidan that he couldn't think about much else. But that's changing. Standing here with Kaidan—despite this being a different century, a different galaxy—makes him feel closer to his old self. Luca was right, he just needs time.

Arms wrap around his waist, a head rests on his shoulder.

“Do you remember this picture?”

One of the his hands reaches up to touch Kaidan's face. “I do.” He puts it down and sees a picture of Kaidan's parents as well.

“I want to ask you about them. But...later.”

He pulls away and sits down. Shepard watches him start to take off his boots. He sits and does the same without a word. Kaidan takes off his shirt. But when Cal follows, he hears a gasp. He looks down and is reminded the blackness on his own chest. It branches out over his torso. Kaidan's hand reaches out but stops.

“Does it hurt?” he whispers.

Cal shakes his head then shivers when fingers brush against his skin. He's craved Kaidan’s touch for six hundred years. He'll never be able to get enough of it now. Fingertips trace upwards slowly, until Kaidan's hand is resting against his neck. Cal's head tilts, he leans forward, and then their lips meet softly. Shepard's hands roam his body until they're both falling onto the bed. Kaidan rolls on top of him and Cal's mind flashes back to the first time they slept together. He thinks about the last time too.

He looks into Kaidan's eyes and smiles.

“I've missed you so much, Cal.”

“I know. Me too.”

They move onto their sides in the middle of the bed, hands touching in the small space between them.

“I have so many questions,” Kaidan says quietly. “But...they can wait. I think? Except for one. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am. I owe a lot of that to Luca.”

“I feel bad for never telling him. But I just...didn't want any reminders from the past. God, that's terrible.”

“I know he doesn't like it, but he'll be okay.” Things fall quiet for a few moments. “Kaidan, are you scared of me?”

“Never.” He doesn't hesitate, his voice doesn't waver. “I'm not scared of you. But I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything honestly.”

“I know. Can we just...stay like this for a little bit?”

“Fuck...yeah. Yeah, we can.”

They stay like this for a lot longer than a little bit.

Eventually they start asking each other questions. Kaidan explains what happened after the collectors destroyed the Normandy. He tells Cal about the new council's attempt to cover everything up. He goes through all the conversations he had with his dad about the Initiative.

Cal tells him about waking up in a Cerberus lab, how he decided it best to work with them temporarily despite knowing what they were. He recounts the collector base and the humanoid reaper. He explains how they cured the genophage, ended the feud between quarian and geth. Kaidan breaks down sometime during the battle of London. He can't stop apologizing. It's taken him so much time to accept what happened, accept that he chose to never see the Milky Way again.

“I'm sorry. I should've been there. I should've charged into that beam with you.”

Shepard does his best to calm him down. He holds Kaidan close as he continues to cry, and finishes his tale. Anderson. The catalyst. After the war. Once people realized the reapers were different, that they were helping, he left. Things fall quiet again.

“Do you believe me?”

Kaidan peeks at him. “Yeah. As crazy as it all sounds, you...you feel like _you,_ y'know?”

Shepard laughs a bit. “You and Luca are the only ones who think so.”

“We know you best.”

“The others think I'm dangerous. They thought I'd destroy the Nexus or something if I couldn't find you.”

“Luca and I know better.”

“But I am different now, Kay. The reapers did change me. I understand how they think. I see what they see. I can control them.”

“People change all the time. And yeah, this is an extreme case, but we’ll make it work. You're different but you’re still you. You're still the same man I fell in love with all those years ago, right?”

“Yeah, I’m still here. And I still love you too. Have you been doing okay here?”

“It’s rough waking up and realizing you'll never be able to go back home, and even if you did, everyone you knew is dead anyways. I'm working as hard as I can to make this feel like a home for people. I've made friends with some of the angara too.”

“I’m not surprised. How can anyone not like you? Luca has one on his crew. He's in the Resistance.”

“Their people have been through so much. And yet they've still given us a chance. It's amazing. I miss everyone and sometimes I still feel guilty, but I enjoy it here.”

“Hm...even the cold?”

“Heh. You hate the cold, not me. Not as much anyways. Apparently it was a lot colder before Luca fixed the vault here. Did he tell you about those?”

“Yeah. We've talked a lot. You know how chatty he is.”

“Ha, same as you.”

“More than me. He was trying to restore my memory. It's been working.”

“Was that from the reapers?”

“I don't know. Partially maybe? And then being on a ship alone for all that time. It fucks with your head.”

“You sound like yourself now...I can't imagine what that was like.”

“Time moves weird in dark space. I think I kinda went into hibernation mode, like the reapers do. Did.”

“You know...part of me is scared that this isn't real, that it's too impossible to be laying with you right now. Maybe one of the kett hit me in the head and I'm in the infirmary. Or...maybe I'm still in the Milky Way somewhere.”

Cal brushes his fingers down Kaidan's cheek, feeling the warmth radiating from him on this frigid planet. “I'm here, I'm real. I promise.”

Kaidan rolls onto his back, Shepard goes with him. They turn into a tangle of limbs and soft breathing. It's almost like laying in the cabin on the Normandy.

“Did the crew make it?”

“Yeah, they did. Friends from my time with Cerberus died but...the original crew was alright.”

Kaidan takes a deep breath. “I-I'm ready, Cal What happened to my parents?” The brief moment Shepard's gaze casts downward is probably all the answer he needs but he waits anyways.

“I was in Vancouver when the reapers attacked Earth, your parents were too. It was a while before your mom finally sent me a message but they made it to the orchard. Only major cities were getting attacked so they were safe there. Your dad went to fight though. When she contacted me again, he was MIA.”

“They never found him?”

“No. I'm sorry. Your mom stayed safe though.”

“Her son and her husband both gone...”

“She lived a long life after the war and knew you'd find a better one in the future.”

“Yeah...”

Shepard doesn't know what else to say so he just tries to wiggle a little deeper into Kaidan's arms. Snow blows outside the window but heaters in here keep them warm.

“I kind of want to know every little detail but...I kind of don't.”

“We don't have to talk about it right now. There'll be time for all that later. Did you really have to 'get things in order'?”

“I'd like to say bye to people. I don't know when...if...I'll come back.”

“Wherever you want to go, I'll be there. So don't worry about that.”

Kaidan's arms tighten around him. “How is this happening?”

“We have some really strange luck, huh?”

“Yeah. Yeah, we really do.”

There are no more words for now, nothing more needs to be said. Each man simply listens to the other and feels a body they thought they'd never feel again. A lot has happened for them to reach this point, both have suffered in different ways. But Cal and Kaidan have each other once again. That doesn't erase the pain from the past, but now they have the chance to heal together.

“I guess it's time to get up,” Kaidan eventually murmurs. “I should pack my things.”

Shepard opens eyes he didn't even realize were closed. “Did I fall asleep?”

“Yeah. I did too. I don't actually want to get up...”

Cal cups his face and kisses him. It quickly goes from soft to something hungry. He moves again and this time it's to throw a leg over Kaidan's waist. Shepard hasn't felt this feeling in a very long time and it's amplified by Kaidan grabbing his thighs and situating him directly on his lap. He shivers as hands rub up his sides. His eyes are closed as he presses their foreheads together, as they share the same cold breaths.

There's a deep yearning inside Cal but now's not the right time. Later on when they don't have to be rushed or have people waiting for them, then they can take the time to explore and reacquaint themselves with each other's bodies.

“Do you need help packing?”

“No. Just keep me company.”

Shepard pulls back a little and grins. “Duh.”

It'll take a while to gather his belongings and find the people he wants to say bye to. They'll spend time roaming the outpost, with Kaidan telling him more stories about his life on this planet.

“Is it weird to feel nervous about boarding Luca's ship?” Kaidan asks. “'Luca's ship'...that's not something I thought I'd ever say.”

“I know. He's grown up a lot. Why are you nervous?”

“I guess I'm thinking about the Normandy.”

“That's normal I think. The Tempest is different but...it feels familiar.”

“How's the crew treating you?”

“They're still scared of me. But they're better at hiding it. They keep me company sometimes when Luca's busy. No one wants me to be alone.”

“Why?”

“Scared I'll flip out or get into trouble.”

“You find trouble naturally.”

“Yeah, but they don't know that about me. They're nice though. But I think that just might be because they’re worried I'll send a reaper after them.”

“They'll come around. I'm sure Luca's leading by example.”

“He's even letting me sleep in his room. It's better than being shoved in crew quarters.”

“Do you...need to sleep?”

He shrugs. “It gives my mind a break for a little bit. I can tell his boyfriend isn’t too pleased though. Maybe he just prefers his privacy.”

“Boyfriend, huh?”

“Yeah. His name is Reyes. There's definitely a story there. You should ask Luca to tell you on the way back.”

Kaidan looks out in the distance where the ship waits. Then he opens his omni-tool and emails Ryder. “Guess we should head over there. We've got some collectors to take care of.”

“Never thought I'd hear that again. The people here can handle themselves. And then we can focus on the future.”

“I can't wait.”

“For real, we should get going though. People are starting to stare. Can't blame them with the way I look.”

Kaidan looks at him and smiles. “You're just as handsome as I remember.” He holds his hand out and waits for Cal to take it. They walk to the Tempest together.


	6. Chapter 6

Ryder calls a meeting with his friends/crew and introduces Kaidan to them. He thinks everyone's probably shocked—Shepard has been right all along. Luca can't help but wonder if anyone blames _Kaidan_ for the collectors being here, for shooting down the quarian ark, for the inevitable next attack. Shepard never would have come here if not for Kaidan...it's a bit of a stretch, and he'll come after anyone who tries to imply anything, but it's still a small concern.

Ryder, Kaidan, and Shepard remain in the meeting area after everyone else leaves. “I talked with the Nexus earlier,” Luca tells them. “Kandros thinks it's best to use the reaper as bait. That will draw at least one ship out that the strike teams can attack.”

“You need to be careful with their lasers,” Shepard warns.

“Seriously. These people weren't on the Normandy when it was attacked. Even if these ships have better shields, it's still a huge risk,” Kaidan adds.

“I know. But they might not even need to get involved. Reaper one draws the ships to it, reaper two turns on them and blasts them all to hell.”

“They're making progress,” Cal confirms. “I think we'll be able to use it. Your people aren't going to be happy though.”

“Fuck them,” Luca growls. “I'm gonna fucking punch the next one that calls you an 'it' or a monster.” He notices the way Kaidan's eyes narrow.

“Are we waiting until we get back to move the reaper? Their 'bait' one,” Shepard asks.

“Yeah.” He sighs then watches Cal slip a hand on Kaidan’s shoulder. “You're acting more like your old self.”

He nods. “We were talking about...that. About me losing certain memories, and regaining them. A big part of this sort of recovery is because of you, you know. I recognized you the moment I saw you.. But ever since the crucible launched, there's been this haze over my mind. It's still kind of there but seeing you, talking about my old life, helping me find Kaidan despite being skeptical yourself...I can never repay you, Luca. Thank you.”

“You're my friend. I love you. Of course I'd do anything to help.”

Shepard’s gaze softens. “I love you too.”

~~~~~

“I didn't think Alenko was here.”

Ryder tosses his pants over the back of the couch Cal formerly occupied. He's not quite sure where the couple is right now. “Me either,” he admits and walks to the bed where Reyes is already laying. “I thought his memories were scrambled or that it was just wishful thinking. But Kaidan actually came to Andromeda and...I think I'm still wrapping my head around it.”

“I think they are too.”

He sits down and reaches out for Reyes' arm. They both watch as his fingers dance across skin. “I know things have been...weird since we found Cal. And that I've pretty much been ignoring everyone, but especially you. Thanks for being patient.”

“You don't have to thank me for anything, Luca. I understand.” He pushes himself up and kisses the younger man. “I'm glad they're together again, but let me say this now—they're not getting our bed.”

Ryder laughs. “They won't, promise. I'm hoping they'll get to spend some time together on the Nexus before we have to jump into things.”

“I'm sure they will. Now why don’t you lay down? It's been a long day.”

Once he's snuggled against Reyes, Luca’s eyes close. It has indeed been a long day and his brain is still trying to catch up. But Cal and Kaidan are reunited. For a short time, all is right in the galaxy.

~~~~~

'Can I talk to you?' Kaidan's message reads.

'Sure, I'm in my room,' Ryder types back. When he's done at the computer, he goes to the couch. His pet pyjak is asleep on it and doesn't even react when he sits down. He’s lightly patting his back when the doors slide open.

“Hey,” Kaidan greets.

“Yo, have a seat. What's up?”

He looks at the pyjak before meeting Luca's eyes. “I wanted to thank you. And apologize.”

“For what?”

“For not telling you I was here. For not helping with the kett.”

“You helped in your own way with the angara. We’ve already talked about this.”

“Cal told me what happened to your dad. I'm sorry. My dad offered to help get me on the pathfinder team. But I told him no.”

“Why?”

“I truly convinced myself that this was our best hope, that I could do more here than being shut down by the Alliance again and again. But I was still grieving. And...you were his friend. A close friend. I thought the reminder would be too painful. Sorting through everything alone helped me accept it. But I regret not saying anything until now. I think we could've helped each other.”

“I think so too. But we can't change it. I understand though, and I forgive you. I know firsthand how weird grief is. What's important is that you and him are together now.”

“I'm still in shock.”

“Fuck, dude, me too. Pretty sure my heart stopped when I saw him. This stuff's trippy to think about.”

“That's one word for it.”

Their conversation is interrupted when the door slides open again. It's Shepard but Ryder can't really tell what the expression on his face is.

“What's wrong?” Kaidan asks.

“They fixed it.”

“Oh, fuck,” Luca says as they both stand up. “Can you see what they're doing?”

“They're boarding it. They have no idea that I have control. Its systems are shut down so it can't move.”

“How many ships are in the area?” Ryder asks. “Sam, relay this info to the Nexus.”

“Just one. The reaper can cut through that thing no problem but I don't want to destroy it. We can use it to trace the other ships.”

“Just...let them board. We should talk to the others before we do anything. Come on.”

The couple follows him to the vidcon. Kaidan sits on the couch to be out of the way while the other two wait. Sam lets them know when Kandros is on the line.

“Ryder, what's going on ?” he asks. “What's Sam telling me?”

“The collectors repaired one of the reapers.”

“What? Damn it.”

“It won't do anything without my permission though,” Shepard assures, though Ryder's positive Kandros isn't comforted by that. “They've boarded it but it's not going anywhere. I can order it to destroy their ship but we’re thinking they can lead us to the rest of them.”

“Or straight to the Nexus. But if that happens, you can turn the reaper on them, right?”

“Now you trust me?”

“No. But Ryder does and that needs to be enough right now.”

“They're testing the weapons now but once they're done, I'll order the reaper to shut its laser down until we’re ready to use it.”

“I'll get the strike teams ready for deployment. I've sent scouts out to the moon to see if they can find the other two ships. Did you...find who you were looking for?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Well, damn. Okay, keep in touch.”

“We’ll be back soon,” Ryder tells him. Once Kandros is off the line, he turns to his two companions. “If they do bring that thing to the Nexus, we’ll beat it there.”

“You've seen how big their ships are. This could get ugly,” Shepard warns.

“I know. But we beat the kett, we can do this too.”

Ryder gathers his crew to inform them of what’s happening, to prepare them for a fight. Shepard then takes control because he knows the enemy better than anyone else. He is a natural leader, despite never having the desire in his life to be in charge. But Luca knows Cal’s life has taken many hard unexpected turns. So has Luca’s. So has Kaidan’s.

He listens to Shepard speak to his crew and wonders if he’s thinking about his own crew back on the Normandy. Does he miss them right now? Or is his one and only focus the mission? He’s a better leader than Luca will ever be, and he’s fine with that. He’s grateful he has his friend with experience here to guide them. So many times during the fight with the kett, he wished for someone to lean on, someone to ease the pressure.

Shepard explains to them how the original Normandy was destroyed, he describes the collector ship and how the Illusive Man tricked him, and finally he details the actual base as well as he can remember. The crew is interested in the knowledge, asks questions where appropriate. Every bit of information will help them prepare for whatever happens. Luca’s not sure when or where, but there will eventually be a battle.

When he’s done and they’ve discussed everything worth mentioning, the team scatters. Even Cal disappears for a little while. Luca and Kaidan go sit in the meeting room along with Lyla and Reyes. They don’t talk about the collectors right now. For these few brief moments they have, they share stories about Andromeda.

Hours pass and eventually their little group disperses as well. When Luca hears from Cal again, they’re almost in the Zheng He system. Ryder’s at the research table, Cal is...somewhere over the intercom.

“They’re heading for the Nexus. I would’ve said so earlier but...everything looks the same in space.”

“Heh, how much time do we have?”

“A few hours at most. Just one ship is in the area.”

Luca frowns. “Where are the others hiding...? I’ll let Kandros know.”

Ryder eventually settles back into the meeting area. He likes it here more than the bridge. It’ll be easier to communicate. When Cal joins him, he knows it’s almost time. Others from his pack of friends drift up too, squeezing on the couches or hanging out on the floor. The Tempest will be out of the direct action but everything hinges on Shepard.

The radio crackles to life. “We’re picking something up on our radar,” Kandros announces. Everyone visibly sits up a little straighter.

“Are our people in position?” Luca asks.

“Yes. We’re ready,” Kandros answers. The other pathfinders agree. Vederia will lead a team through the reaper when this fight is over to clear the remaining collectors. Shepard has confirmed to Luca privately that the indoctrination has had no effect in such a short amount of time. But when the asari pathfinder boards, he’ll make sure the ability is disabled. Despite still not knowing where any other ships are, everyone expects a quick and easy battle thanks to the reaper they still fear but simultaneously are somewhat grateful for.

But Luca notices the tension Shepard holds in his body. He suspects that the other two ships are destroyed and the final one will make its appearance. This will be done soon. However, he’s beginning to wonder if Cal believes that.

“Their ship’s trailing behind. I want the reaper to go in closer before it attacks. Once that happens, they’ll realize something’s up,” Shepard informs him.

“But it won’t matter, right?”

“It shouldn’t. Does Kandros have a visual?”

“Yes. Do you?”

“I...uh, yeah. Like a sense as well as...it understands what I...ugh, fuck it. Yes, I have a visual.” Shepard waits a few seconds. “It’s going to slow down and turn,” he says quietly.

And then Kandros’ voice is heard. “The reaper’s turning around!”

Kandros’ equipment doesn’t pick up the sound but the reaper’s distinct screech echoes in Cal’s head. A hard shiver races up his spine. It’s instinctual, even all these years later. Nothing good has ever come from that sound.

The room listens as Shepard then Kandros describes what’s happening.

“It’s prepping its laser.”

“It just shot its laser at the collectors!”

“Not a direct hit.”

“Ryder, it sheered the side. I think it’s preparing to strike back.”

Luca doesn’t say anything except, “Acknowledged.” His eyes are glued on Shepard.

“Leg is hit. Readying another strike.”

Cal is reminded of the battle on Rannoch, of the reaper he fought on foot. He can still hear Garrus and Tali yelling at him to be careful. But there was no Kaidan back then making him promise to come back alive. There was no Kaidan to question if this dangerous stunt was truly the only option or if Shepard was just looking for an excuse to die. Few things have matched the terror he felt during that fight.

“Cal. Cal, what’s happening?”

He looks at Luca but doesn’t immediately register what’s being asked. The turian on the other side of the system answers in his place. “I think they’re both damaged. The reaper is flying towards it.”

“Cal?” he asks with more urgency.

“The laser’s damaged,” he states. But the ship is as well. The collectors aboard won’t survive this next assault, he’ll make sure of it.

“It...looks like it’s going to ram them!”

The reaper stops just short of crashing right into the ship. Instead, its legs latch on.

“Cal?”

“I’m going to crush it.” His control on the reaper is starting to wane, it’s beginning to die. One more attack and it’ll be destroyed. Shepard needs to make sure the reaper is faster, but there’s only so much he can do. Its legs begin to tighten and squeeze, and he feels his own fingers clench into fists.

“Tell Shepard to hurry! They’re revving up another attack!”

Luca looks at him in alarm but Cal doesn’t react. Artificial limbs clench down harder, finger nails dig harshly into palms. Eyes are out of focus as eyes millions of kilometers away watch the collector ship begin to crack. Cal feels his own limbs pressing into phantom walls, making them splinter beneath his grasp. He is powerful and the collectors are weak. They’ve been warped by the reapers, it’s only fitting that a reaper ends them and atones for its own mistakes.

The ship will launch one final attack. Cal can feel the heat of a gun slowly envelop him. He can sense people yelling—are they yelling at him? All he hears is static in his ears, a high-pitched ringing settles in his eardrums. His entire body feels on fire now, the walls succumb to his grip. The ship is breaking, the collectors are breaking. The hull crushes the moment the gun shoots. It’s like a direct punch to Cal’s chest. The ringing is unbearably loud before cold silence floods him. He can no longer sense the collector ship. Images spanning the entire Milky Way rush into his head and fill him to the brim, until every single one merges and he’s no longer sure where he is or what he’s looking at.

Shepard’s eyes suddenly blink open as he takes in a sharp inhale. He looks around and gets reacquainted with his true surroundings. Kaidan and Luca are staring. Kaidan looks concerned, Luca like he’s just seen a ghost.

“Are you alright?” Kaidan asks.

“Y-yeah.” He doesn’t mean to stutter. Why does his voice sound so foreign to his own ears? “What happened? The ship?”

“The reaper managed to destroy it before getting blasted. What happened to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were unresponsive,” Luca explains. “Staring off at nothing. Kandros told us what was going on.”

“I was...the reaper. Uh...I’m fine. Now what?”

“Another ship is coming. He’s already sent teams after it.”

He nods and leans on the table.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kaidan asks quietly.

“Yeah. I guess I forgot how deeply connected I am to the reapers.”

“Did it...hurt?”

He shakes his head. “It was just...abrupt, the sever...I wasn’t prepared.” He sighs. “I’m fine.” His concern lies with this second ship and its distance from the Nexus. According to the information Kandros has sent, both krogan and angaran forces are helping guard the Nexus. They can’t take any more chances. Avitus is leading the charge against the second ship. Shepard knows they won’t crack this cruiser in half so once they take down its systems and cripple it, Ryder’s team will go inside.

Luca has volunteered himself and his companions for Shepard to command. It’s the logical choice, Ryder says and he agrees. Cal knows what he’s doing, more or less.

“We should suit up,” he says. “We want to get in there before they have a chance to make repairs.” He doesn’t wait to see if anyone follows him, he knows they’ll come.

~~~~~

The Tempest waits. Ryder and his squad are ready. They are fully armed and protected. Not including himself, Luca has five powerful biotics on his side. Everyone sitting around him has years of combat experience—Drack alone possesses over a thousand.

“So...we’re really doing this?” Peebee asks. They all hear the nervousness in her voice and feel the same. “We’re really jumping on one of these ships?”

“Yeah, and we’re following Shepard’s lead,” Ryder tells her..

Eyes dart to Cal. He’s an intimidating presence but he’s on their side and his crew knows this. Luca had been somewhat worried resentment would bud with Kaidan aboard but it seems to be the opposite. They see him and Shepard together and it helps them realize what Luca’s been saying. Cal is still Cal.

“It’ll be tough a fight but it can be done.” Shepard looks at all of them. “Look, forget what Luca said for a minute. I know how the situation is. I know there’s been suspicion about me since I arrived. If anyone doesn’t like that I’m in charge, if you don’t think you can follow my orders—back out now. We need everyone in top form to get these guys.”

“This is too important to let personal feelings get in the way,” Drack grumbles.

“Ryder has faith in you,” Cora adds. “We have faith in Ryder. And...” She looks between him and Kaidan. “We’ve all been getting to know you, Shepard. We’re with you.”

Kandros’ voice comes across the intercom and interrupts. “I think we got it, Ryder. We’ll stay surrounded.”

“Okay, we’ll-”

“Ryder!”

“I’m in the middle of something, Kallo!”

“The collector ship is trying to contact us.”

Luca and Cal shoot up immediately. “Kandros, hold off a second. We...the ship’s trying to communicate.”

“What? Fine. We’ll stand by.”

The pair runs off, boots pounding against the walkway until they’re on the bridge. They all flinch when static crackles along the connection and Ryder’s reminded of when Cal first contacted them. He finds his voice more quickly this time and speaks with less fear than he’s truly feeling. He doesn’t want to talk to these creatures. He wants to kill them and never think about them again.

“What do you want?” he demands.

“Shep...ard...”

Luca’s eyes snap over to Cal but Cal’s not looking back. He’s staring at the window, unblinking, and Ryder’s kind of worried. “What do you want?” he repeats.

“Shepard...”

“There’s nowhere left for you to go!” Cal suddenly snarls. “We’re coming for you and everything on that ship!”

A loud high-pitched static pierces the air. It makes everyone but Shepard cover their ears.

“You escaped us before, Shepard...never again. Come aboard and face your destiny. Your allies will fall and you shall finally perish...”

Luca wants to claw at his ears but then the bridge is silent and the connection is lost. He looks over at his friend. “Cal,” he says. Shepard looks distressed. His hand’s on his forehead as he stares at the floor. “Cal?” Ryder says again, a little more worried, a little more quietly

“Tell Kandros not to send anyone onto that ship.” Shepard’s arm falls to his side and he turns to Luca. “You’re not going either.”

“Uh, what? I know you didn’t just say-”

“I said you’re not coming. Your crews isn’t coming...Kaidan isn’t coming. Everyone was right, Luca. It’s my fault the collectors are here. They want me, I should be the only one who boards that ship. No one else should die for my selfish decisions.”

Ryder glares at him. “You were taken from us real fuckin' abruptly,” he starts, and he can feel his voice crack a bit as memories of that time resurface. “You know damn well what that pain is like. I would’ve kicked my own dad if meant seeing you again. I-I...I still can’t believe you’re here but you are and I’m with you. Kaidan’s with you. I don’t know what it’s been like for you these last six hundred years but you’re not alone anymore. Stop being an asshole and pushing us away.”

“I’m not pushing you away, I’m trying to keep you—all of you—safe.”

“We don’t need you to, Cal. Let us help you. You didn’t come all this way, you didn’t see Kaidan again, just to fucking die in a ship full of uglies. Losing you was hard enough the first time, there’s no way I’m letting that happen again.”

Ryder can see a fire behind Cal’s eyes but he knows it’s mirrored in his own. They are the only two people who exist until the doors slide open.

“What’s going on?”

Luca finally turns away and Shepard looks at Kaidan. Ryder gets Kandros on the line as the other man asks questions.

“Who did you guys talk to?”

Ryder’s not completely sure how to answer that but he doesn't have to.

“A...collector,” Shepard says simply.

“I didn’t know they could talk,” Luca mutters. Then he glances at Cal, notices that he looks odd. “What’s wrong?”

“Not all of them did speak. There was one...under a reaper’s control...a collector general.”

“Is that who we talked to?”

“I just...assumed he died in the base. He must’ve escaped.” Shepard sighs. “Like we already knew—it’s me he wants.”

Kandros is quiet for a few moments before, “Well, he’s not getting you. Are we continuing as planned?”

Ryder stares at Shepard.

“Yeah,” he finally answers. “But don’t try to send in teams after us. We can handle this, I’m confident in Ryder’s crew. We’re leaving the Tempest now.”

Ryder gathers everyone at the shuttle. They’ll go in together but once paths split off, they’ll divide into two teams. If necessary, they can divide further. But everyone is nervous about that, despite knowing Cal has done this before with just a squad of three.

Luca would feel safer with Reyes piloting but someone else among the Tempest’s crew is in control. She’ll drop them off then wait outside the ship until they’re ready for extraction. Luca feels his body shake and heart pound as they fly towards the enormous cruiser. He’s glad they have Cal, but he’ll be relieved when this is over. Whoever this general is, he and his minions will hurt no one ever again. He glances over at Cal and Kaidan. And then they’ll finally be able to concentrate on the future.


	7. Chapter 7

Shepard feels his body shake and heart pound as he steps out of the shuttle and into the collector ship’s dark halls. He’s never admitted it but fighting though that base changed him. Even now, after everything that’s transpired, he still feels his chest tighten and imagines that the walls are closing in.

He shuts his eyes and he takes a deep breath as everyone else joins him. He senses someone approach and knows it can only be one of two people.

“You okay?”

He looks at Kaidan. Now’s not the time to discuss old anxieties. “Yeah. Everyone ready? Let’s go, keep an eye out.”

Shepard leads the way forward. There’s light chatter, mostly about the creepiness of their surroundings, but he pays it little mind. The last time he was in one of these things, he was with Garrus and Grunt. He misses them both. Garrus remained at his side until the very end. He died an old turian, believing his best friend was killed in the crucible blast.

Cal pushes back against his heavy thoughts. The important thing to remember right now is that, although it was a very close call, they survived the collector ship. And that was with only three of them, there’s a small army currently at his back. Less corpses line the hall this time around, it still looks like an insect hive. His guard’s raised but Kaidan’s presence by his side helps calm him.

“Hey, is that a console?” Ryder asks but he’s already heading for it.

“Luca, be careful!” Reyes cautions. “You have no idea what’s in that pod.”

The thing is on a table. An experiment of some sort most likely. Shepard suspects a quarian. Luca scans it and to everyone’s relief they hear Sam announce, “The pod is empty. Luca, if you connect to the terminal, I can determine the layout of the ship.”

Shepard looks around as Luca does that. Maybe it’s just in his head, but the place looks worn down with age. Or maybe these things have always looked this bad.

“Analyzing data,” Sam murmurs.

“What data?” Shepard asks his friend.

“I dunno, I downloaded whatever was on the terminal.”

“Records show the two ships that crashed on the moon were damaged beyond repair.”

“That’s good,” Cal mutters. “Do you have the layout? Where we headed?”

“The ship’s center of command is deeper in, straight ahead. The hallway splits in fifty meters.”

“Where does the other path go?”

“Through various rooms, which branch off further. They’ll eventually converge on the opposite side of the ship.”

“That’s where we’ll head then,” Cora says. “Give them a distraction and prevent them from trying any repairs.”

“You sure?” But he’s sure they’ll be fine. Cora’s leading a team of five others. Cal has the twins, Reyes, and Kaidan.

“Of course.”

They pace themselves as they walk through the next hallway and just as Sam said, one path goes straight while another breaks left. Shepard nods at Cora and then each team splits apart. He leads on, the hallway winds and he has to remind himself that the walls aren’t actually closing in on them. He lets out a deep breath when they finally enter the central chamber. This is all familiar.

“Why haven’t we run into anything yet?” Reyes murmurs. “Not that I’m complaining...”

“Either Cora gave us a really good distraction or they’re waiting,” Luca says.

Shepard doesn’t respond. The path ends abruptly. The only way forward is to step on a platform. He stares at it. It’s a long way across but he knows what waits on the other side. His mind keeps whispering _‘Harbinger’_ but he knows that’s impossible. Cal’s battle is no longer with him for he is in another galaxy guarding the Citadel.

Kaidan comes up next to him and then they step on together. Cal feels it rumble and snaps, “Hurry!” to the others. Lyla and Reyes hop on but Luca’s a few meters away distracted. He gasps as the platform separates from the ground. He runs and launches himself forward with the aid of his biotics. They all reach for Luca and yank him to the middle.

“Are they trying to split us up?” he asks.

“I wouldn’t put it past them,” Cal says. “Get ready. I’ve fought a lot of collectors on these things.”

As if they’re listening, two platforms suddenly fly out from nowhere. The team snaps into position, ducking behind ledges and activating biotic barriers. The gunfire starts before the platforms fully slow to a stop and connect. As soon as there‘s a break, Luca’s the first one up. A throw flies from his hand. It hits one of the collectors square in the chest and it hurls right over the edge.

But two more still remain on the left side. Lyla’s on it, she leaps over the edge and charges at the nearest one. Her punch staggers it, her shotgun kills it.

“Look out for the last one’s gun!” Shepard shouts. He remembers the particle guns well. “It’ll cut through your shields!”

Luca tries to throw it but it erects one of those barriers that Shepard’s always hated so much. But he trusts the twins to quickly take care of it and he focuses on the second platform, which has more. Between the five of them, it’s simple work and Shepard wonders what the point is. Whoever he talked to should know it’ll take much more than this to tire him out. Maybe it’s just a warning.

Their platform begins to move again. They’ve still got a long way to go. A few moments pass before two more platforms teeming with enemies shoot in their direction. He half-expects a praetorian to come kill them but as he ducks to avoid a particle beam, he hears nothing of that sort.

He knows he should concentrate fully on the fight, shouldn’t be arrogant, but there are certain things he can’t help. He’s missed fighting by Kaidan’s side. They fall into a rhythm that’s come from battling pirates, geth, and Saren. They know each other’s styles from surviving places like Virmire and Ilos together. No amount of time can erase that bond.

Luca’s a much better fighter than the punk who used to punch strangers as a teen. He and his sister are almost polar opposites in style but together they are a powerful force. And Reyes, surrounded by four biotics, stays calm and shoots with purpose. Even if they do run into a praetorian, he is very confident.

They clear the next wave. The previous platforms fall away and they continue. Cal’s pretty sure this is just an attempt to soften them up.

“Cora,” he says over the intercom. “How are things on your end?”

“The last room was pretty full but we’re moving forward.”

“Us too. Slowly.”

“Ugh, this corner looks like a set up. Gotta go!”

“Keep me updated,” he orders before the radio goes quiet.

It’s silent on the platform as well. Everyone simply looks around until someone—Shepard’s not even sure who—mutters, “Hard to believe the collectors weren’t always...collectors.”

“Yeah, it’s the reapers that warped the protheans.” Cal’s pulse quickens as he moves to sit on one of the ledges in the middle. “They did a lot of terrible things. In those final moments, I spent so much time debating what to do. Felt like forever. But I knew each second I wasted was another person dead.” He looks at Kaidan, who’s already looking back. “Anderson wanted to destroy them. The Illusive Man...Cerberus...wanted to control them. Everyone called the reapers evil and they did commit atrocities but...” He’s not quite sure why he’s rambling about this now. Maybe he’s uncomfortable with the silence. “I-I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life but I like to think even I’m redeemable. I tried to apply that thinking to the reapers. But looking at all this...the reapers are the reason the collectors exist. And I saved them. I forgave them for _this_ and so much more.” He’s not sure what he wants right now but he keeps staring at Kaidan. The older man (is he technically older anymore?) grabs his shoulders.

“Nobody in the damn universe can judge you for what you chose. You saved an entire galaxy. I can’t imagine how you felt. But you’re right. Sometimes people do really bad things. It doesn’t make them evil and it doesn't make what they did right. But they can be forgiven. You’re worthy of redemption, like I was after what I did to Vyrnnus, and...yeah, maybe like the reapers too.”

“I’ve killed people for lesser crimes. I’m going to kill every single collector on this ship to make sure no one else gets hurt.”

“We’ve been through a lot and we know things aren’t simple. You were given a choice with the reapers. That was...a really unique situation. The collectors aren’t giving us a choice here.”

“I know. I don’t feel bad about what we’re doing. I just...I don’t know.”

“This isn’t your fault, Cal.”

“I don’t know about that either. Maybe I can’t see that the reapers deserved to die because I’m a monster too.”

“That’s not true. That’s never been true. Generations would be lost without you. The grueling work you put in to get to that decision is not the work of a monster.”

They’re nearing the other side of this room. The platform starts slowing down and Cal stands.

“Doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”

Kaidan shakes his head. “It does matter. But right now we have a job to do. Once that’s done, we can learn to move on.”

He nods then steps off the platform. “This is it,” he announces. Whatever made the decision to follow him to Andromeda is behind this final barrier. He can feel it. They simply need to defeat it and then the danger will be over. These people will be safe, Cal and Kaidan can focus on their life together. He takes the first step towards the door. Four sets of boots follow. The door opens and when all of them are inside, it slams shut.

“It’s locked,” Sam informs them.

Shepard looks around. A small door is to the left and that’s probably where Cora’s team is. The rest of the room has railings and tall pillars they can use for cover—he has the feeling they’ll need it real soon. Everything leads to a set of stairs going up to a platform. The far end is completely shrouded in shadow. Glimpses of the base keep flashing through Cal’s mind and he has to keep shaking them away.

They push forward slowly, aware that this is most likely an ambush. The group is in the middle of the room when a rattling sound pierces the otherwise quiet air. A lone figure walks to the top of the staircase. It’s a collector but it’s clearly unique. It has multiple arms, a larger head, its body closer to an insect than to its counterparts. Bright glowing eyes lock on Shepard and unnerve him, but he stands tall and activates his biotics in response. Blue energy ripples across his body, calm waves ready to morph into a deadly storm at any moment. Cal knows this is the one in charge, he knows this is the one that needs to die.

“Well?” he shouts. “I’m here, what the fuck do you want? Why did you follow me? Why are you here?”

“You reduced us...to nothing.” It can barely speak, voice rough as it forces the words out.

His hands ball into fists. “I didn’t do a damn thing but put you bastards out of your misery! Blowing up that base was a favor.”

“We were perfect, built in the reapers’ image. You destroyed us.”

“Do you hear yourself? Is there _anything_ prothean left in that giant head of yours?” His arms gesture wildly around. “Look at this place. Look at what you’ve done. I thought...I thought maybe you could be saved....” His voice drops to a whisper. “I thought there was something worth saving in you. In me...”

“You escaped us before, Shepard, not again. Death is the only thing you deserve. And then we will move on to the rest of this pathetic galaxy and rise once more.”

“It’s over. Even if you kill me, there’s still plenty of ships waiting to fucking demolish you. Do you hear me?! It’s over!” he screams and then charges forward. He rushes up the stairs, ignores the shouts aimed at him, then launches the strongest warp he can muster. A barrier appears and absorbs the attack and everything descends into chaos.

The moment he sees movement behind the general, he jerks to the left. His hand lands on the railing and as he vaults himself over, he hears the whiz of a particle gun by his head. He assumes the general is retreating to the back of the room but he can’t go search because a door near him opens. He uses an overload as soon as he can confirm it’s not Cora. He tosses another warp and immediately follows with a throw. The three collectors running at him never stood a chance against the detonation. He grabs his gun and runs to the nearest ledge for cover. A weapon chases after him until he ducks. From this vantage point, he can see Luca and Reyes huddled down together. When there’s a break in fire, he takes a peek. The original barrier is still up but the general is gone and more creatures have taken its place.

One suddenly runs down the stairs but a few well-placed bullets have it rolling to the bottom in a crumpled heap. Cal crouches back down and Reyes nods his head at him. Shepard can practically feel the smirk emanating from him. He chuckles before scanning the area again. The door they came through opens up and he shouts, “Behind!”

“On it,” Lyla says before she charges right into the group trying to flank them. Luca focuses on them too, doing everything he can to protect his twin.

He watches Reyes find a new area of cover, closer to the staircase. Shepard tosses a warp at the new group before crawling closer as well. His goal is that platform. He is going to murder the general.

His entire body is buzzing. Partially from adrenaline but mostly from his biotics. Until very recently, they had remained dormant since the Milky Way. He sort of wouldn’t be surprised if he simply disintegrated after this battle.

The twins deal with the back of the room while the three of them work the platform. There are more up there than Shepard expected and he wonders if there’s another entrance they’re coming from. There’s only one way to find out. He seeks Kaidan out and nods towards the stairs. Once Kaidan nods back, Cal gears up then runs. Their friends provide cover as the couple powers up the steps. An assassin runs at them but Cal bashes it with his shotgun. Just as he suspected, an open door waits on the opposite wall. They duck behind one of the consoles.

“Do you see the general anywhere?” Cal asks.

“No,” Kaidan says. “He must be hiding in the next room.”

“Shepard!” they hear. It’s Cora. “We’re at a door and it’s locked.” Sam informs them that he’s attempting to hack it.

From where Cal is, he can see that door to the side hasn’t budged yet. “It might be the one I’m looking at. I’m near the main console, I think. Lemme see if one of these buttons does anything.”

“Cal, wait-” Kaidan starts but he’s already leaping up and throwing a collector right back through the other exit. He hears Kaidan huff but ignores it and runs to the section of the terminal with the most buttons and switches. The screens on the wall are all black. He sees movement out of the corner of his eye and lets his shotgun go off while he tries to figure things out. His eyes scan over everything and when they come across one switch that looks like all the others, he flips it. He presses the button directly beneath it and spins around.

A new wave of gunfire starts and he watches Cora’s team pour in. They’re more than capable enough to handle the mess down there. Cal is going to hunt down the general. He and Kaidan run through the door and see the creature alone on a platform in the distance. It suddenly glows blue and throws a biotic attack. It’s easy to leap out of the way but as they do, a line of collectors rapidly assembles. Before the pair attempts to scramble from the fire that will inevitably hit them, they hear, “I got you!”

Cal turns and sees Luca suddenly behind them. He surrounds them with a barrier that protects them from the attack.

“As soon as they stop, everyone behind those pillars!” Shepard orders. The moment Luca’s barrier fades, they run. “Where are the others?”

“More uglies ran in, they’re keeping them from coming up behind us,” Luca answers.

“Okay. Let’s sweep these guys out and get to that platform.”

Shepard’s not too sure about the layout of this room. It’s a dead end, with no other exits other than the one they just came through. A few platforms, including the one the general stands on, hover above a trench spanning the farther half of the room. He has a bad feeling about it but there’s no time to dwell. They take down the line one by one. These things aren’t scurrying to cover or throwing up barriers and it’s easy work to kill them or throw them off the ledge.

Just the leader protects itself and Cal is confused. However, when only one minion remains, he runs. He pays no attention when someone else’s bullet turns it into a corpse. But just before he can reach the platform, it rises. He can use his new jump jets to propel himself but his instincts tell him to stay grounded. The platform flies off to the other end of the trench and Shepard hazards a look down. It’s dark, so dark he can’t see the bottom. But something is down there, he can feel it.

A loud screech echoes far below and for a split second, Shepard is terrified that a reaper like the one at the base is about to attack.

A creature does emerge from the darkness, but his initial fear subsides once he sees that it’s a praetorian. His eyes widen regardless and he darts off. “It’s slow!” he hisses at his squad. He holsters his shotgun, not wanting to get close enough for it to be at its most effective. His biotics will take care of this. “Attack from a range, do not let it get close!”

And if things get too heated, they can escape through the entrance. It’s small enough that the monster won’t fit.

“Stay calm, whittle its armor down, keep your distance!”

He dives behind a pillar just as it unleashes its particle beam. Kaidan and Luca are on the other side, glowing blue and shooting at the creature. He wonders if they’re getting tired from burning up so much energy. The praetorian is slowly heading for Shepard. As long as he can keep it distracted, the others can focus freely. He quickly leans out of cover to aim a warp. Just as he pulls back, its beam retaliates. Shepard scans the area and spots a crumbled ledge he can run to next.

Right as soon as that beam...

“Cal, go!” Kaidan yells when it stops.

He launches himself to new cover just as the praetorian pummels the ground. “That’s how it forms a barrier!” he explains.

“It’s still following you.”

Cal hears the worry in his voice. “Just concentrate on the barrier. I’ll keep dodging.” And tossing as many warps as his body can handle. This room is a lot of empty space and he doesn’t like it. His next plan is where the other two are. But he doesn’t want them close to him. Kaidan seems to sense this because he grabs Luca and drags him away from the pillars they’ve been using.

“What are you doing?” Shepard asks, and chances another attack. Its barrier is gone and they’re working on its armor again. He’s pretty sure.

“Yeah, what are we doing?” Ryder echoes nervously.

“It’s only following you, Cal. If we need a barrier, Luca can handle that.”

“Oh god, uh, okay,” the youngest agrees.

Shepard doesn’t have time to argue because in the next moment he’s bolting across the room. He doesn’t like them being out in the open but he knows Kaidan’s right. The praetorian aims solely at him. He hears the beam behind him and tries to run faster, but stumbles when it swings up to hit his legs. He tries to take off again, the pillars are right there-

The laser hits him again and this time Shepard crashes to the ground. His own barrier can only soak up so much. He hurries to push himself up but Luca’s already sprinting in his direction. Cal hurries, knowing the additional protection won’t last. As soon as he’s on his feet, Luca makes his barrier detonate. It staggers the monster enough for them to run. Shepard hugs the wall while Luca returns to shooting it from a distance.

“Are you sure we’re actually hurting it?” he shouts.

Cal can hear him panting. He must’ve overexerted himself just now. “Yeah, just a little more.” He doesn't actually know how much longer but best not to say that. He knows it’s taking damage though. He has a view of the platform from here. The general is simply standing, waiting, watching. Does it plan to lurk there forever? Because Cal will wait however long it takes.

“Shepard!”

That’s not Kaidan or Luca. Two people run through the door. Lyla and Cora. He’s relieved to gain the extra firepower.

“Holy fuck, what is that?” Lyla exclaims as they head for cover.

“Don’t worry, it’s only shooting at me!”

“That’s not very comforting,” the other twin grumbles. Kaidan agrees.

“Just—shoot it. How’s the other room?”

“It’s full of corpses,” Lyla says before Cora takes over.

“There was another big wave, the others are cleaning up the last dregs of it.”

“Good work.”

“So, uh, the general,” Lyla starts, “are we just ignoring it?”

“For now, yes!” He whips his head out quickly before shoving himself back against the wall.

It’s coming closer, he can’t let himself be cornered here. If he can run back across the room, that’ll keep it from unleashing its ground attack. If he stays on this side or tries to head for the door, he’ll only draw fire near Luca and the others. He takes a deep breath and then he runs. It can’t last much longer, not with everyone shooting-

The praetorian shrieks loud enough to make him cringe before it crashes to the ground. He stops and watches it. It tries to crawl but only slithers a few feet before falling down again. The moment someone confirms it dead, he turns to the general. Shepard heads to the nearest platform, dodging another haphazard biotic attack.

“Come and face me!” he screams, feeling rage boil inside him once again. “Sam! Get me across this damn hole!”

“The platforms won’t move, Shepard.”

He stares hard at the general, trying to will himself towards it through sheer anger alone. “Then I’ll wait.” And he sits down on the platform. “I sat inside a reaper for six hundred years,” he hisses. “You think I won’t sit here for six hundred more?”

He hears far off footsteps and knows the rest of Cora’s team is trickling in. But everyone else is just a distant thought now. Finally Kaidan murmurs, “We’ll wait too.” Cal counts each step in his head. But just before Kaidan can make it to the platform, it quickly rises.

Shepard’s eyes narrow. He stands up. It stops for a moment but then the general’s platform finally moves too. They’re both in the air, Cal’s just far enough to be out of his companions’ reach. The platforms slowly come together. If they fight here, there’s nowhere to hide. No ledges or railings or friends to aid. But Cal doesn’t need any of that.

He tries to lift the general but it’s immediately countered by an attack of its own. The collector's biotics are suddenly a lot more refined.

He attempts a throw next but a shield circles round to protect it. Fed up, he runs forward. He has no more patience for games. His hand glows blue as it forms a fist and crashes into the shield. He doesn’t feel the pain ricochet up his arm, Cal just punches the barrier again and again. The general stares with its many eyes—if it feels fear, it doesn’t show it. Cal’s body twists as he gears up for another attack. Every fight he’s ever been in passes through his mind, from a kid in the Reds to right this moment. Too many to count.

His hand connects one last time before the shield dissipates and he careens forward. He’s just barely able to keep himself from falling but then he cries out as his entire body jolts and drops to the floor.

His name is being called but his head feels like it’s underwater. With hard buzzing numbing his limbs, he flips onto his stomach and slithers across the ground, arm outstretched. As soon as his fingers make contact, he clenches them around the general’s leg and yanks as hard as he can.

The general topples over in front of him. It’s trying to scramble away but now that he has a grip, he’s never letting go. Besides, they’re not that far from the edge. If it means the general’s death, Cal is not afraid to tumble down.

He gets a kick in the head but it doesn’t deter him. Using his hold on it as leverage, he hoists himself up. Shepard pounces on the collector and tangles with its multiple limbs. Without thinking, he grabs his helmet and rips it off. He wants his face to be the last thing the general ever sees. He’s panting above it, staring in the eyes of a giant fucking bug squirming against him.

“Is...is it okay to take our helmets off?” he hears in his earpiece.

“I do not recommend it, Luca,” Sam says.

It doesn’t matter to him though. He’s not fully human anymore. The general is not fully prothean anymore.

“You cannot...atone.”

“W-what?” Cal stutters.

“You cannot atone for your mistakes, Shepard.”

“I don’t need to atone.”

“Your voice...shakes. The reapers changed the protheans. They changed you too. What makes us...different?”

Shepard snarls as he grabs his rarely used pistol and shoves the barrel against the general’s head. But can he truly argue? What really separates him from the collectors?

He thinks about Horizon, and all the colonists they abducted. He thinks about the base, and finding the survivors of his crew. He remembers the millions of pods, the millions of corpses that went into that horrifying reaper prototype. He remembers the countless battles during the war.

While he sorts through all those memories, the general uses his freed arm to punch Shepard square in the chest. The force of it surprises him as he’s knocked back. The gun flies out of his hand and right over the ledge.

“Cal!” Kaidan screams. Shepard can see him out of the corner of his eye, standing right at the edge of the abyss, like how he’s now right on the edge of the platform. But he’s distracted when it’s the general’s turn to jump on him. His hands are pinned and the collector is heavier than he expects.

“Cal, are you okay?” Kaidan calls out.

But before he can answer, Luca shouts frantically, “If you hurt him in any way, I’ll kill you myself, you ugly fucking bug!”

“Cal!”

“I’m fine,” he whispers, the general’s head tilting as they stare each other down. Then louder, “I’m fine, guys!” His eyes narrow. “We are alike but we’re not the same. You’ve always been just a puppet, even now. You and everything else on this ship is just an unfortunate casualty. I’m different. I wasn’t forced into this role, I chose it and I accept it.” His head turns and he looks at Kaidan. Kaidan’s scared. He can’t see his face but he can feel it as much as he feels his own fear. His hand reaches out for Cal but then drops back down to his side. “They remind me of who I am,” he tells the general. “They remind me I’m not a monster. They remind me what my mission is, and that’s to finally end you six hundred years too late.”

His biotics activate and he headbutts the general. Its grip loosens enough for Shepard to shove it off. He rolls away then leaps up. The collector recovers quickly but he’s fast too. He feels an entire room watch as he kicks the general at full force. It goes flying across the platforms before hitting the floor with a heavy thud.

It happens so fast but time slows down for Cal. He pulls his shotgun out, he aims it, and then he pulls the trigger. Again and again. The general’s body gives out, he shoots again. One of its arms shakily reaches for the wounds in its chest.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” he murmurs. It’s the painful truth.

The collectors can do no more harm. Its bright eyes flicker and dim, then the light leaves them completely and the general crumples on the ground. A battle spanning centuries and galaxies is over. Shepard should feel victorious, but Cal does not know how he feels. Pity for the protheans, for Javik’s people. Relief for the inhabitants of Andromeda, and especially the quarian ark. He’s fixed his mistakes, proven he’s not an enemy.

Can he and Kaidan now build a life together? He glances over at the man he loves and wishes he could see his face right now. But that reminds him. He walks over to where his helmet lies abandoned and considers himself lucky that it didn’t fall into the pit.

“Sam...can you get me down?”

“Yes, Shepard. I can move you now.”

His eye are glued to the corpse as the platforms float back to their original positions. He’s not sure if they should bring it with them, or leave it-

“Can I shoot it?” Luca asks. “Y’know...to make sure it’s dead.”

“Uhh. Sure.”

Everyone watches him cautiously approach it, as if the general will leap up any moment to continue their fight. Luca shoots it in the chest. Waits. Then shoots it again. Cal watches him hesitate then holster his weapon. He’s then nearly yanked off his feet when Kaidan engulfs him in a hug.

“You did it,” Kaidan whispers. “He’s gone. You saved a lot of people, this could’ve turned real ugly.”

“I...yeah. Yeah.” Now they can work on the life they were always meant to have.

“Now put your damn helmet back on.”

He laughs a bit but listens. Luca’s already on his omni-tool and sees Kandros on the screen.

“I’ll send teams to clean up in there, I already have a line of people wanting to study the structure and technology in that thing. Good work. And Shepard—thanks for your help.”

“Glad I could fix my mistakes. Time for us to head back shuttle.”

“We’ll meet back at the Nexus.”

When the call ends, he hears Peebee shout, “Woo, now let’s blow this joint! Uh, figuratively of course.”

Drack and Liam chime in as they head for the door. Shepard peers over the edge of the hole and only emptiness stares back. It’s over, even if it hasn’t quite sunken in yet. A hand touches his shoulder.

“Hey, Kay,” he begins but when he looks, he sees Luca.

“Just me. I’m ready to leave this place forever. Let’s go home.”

He nods and follows after everyone. “Keep an eye out for stragglers!” he yells but he knows they’re not paying attention. His eyes roll. Kaidan waits for him at the door so that they can retrace their steps together.

~~~~~

Shepard sits alone in Pathfinder Hall. Everyone’s long cleaned up and back on the Nexus. The wreckage, the derelict reaper, and the intact collector ship have been cleared out. Soon they’ll send research teams to the ship and the moon where the quarians were originally found. That rescue mission feels like a lifetime ago.

Cal hasn’t enjoyed the attention he’s received since defeating the general. Suspicion has morphed into simpler curiosity. Instead of fearing and avoiding him, they boldly approach and ask questions. They stare at his red eyes and blackened skin, and they wonder if the marks hurt him instead of worrying if he’ll hurt them.

He is glad minds are changing but he yearns for the day he can just blend into a crowd. It’ll probably never happen but he hopes he can come close. Right now he just needs a moment to breathe.

He leans back against the uncomfortable couch cushions and closes his eyes. A couple minutes pass until the door opens and he sighs when he hears Tann’s assistant talking to someone. Whoever it is probably isn’t looking for him, Luca wouldn’t tell anyone-

“Ryder said I might find you here.”

His eyes crack open and he’s greeted by Dima. He sits up but doesn’t stand because the quarian takes a seat as well.

“We haven’t had much of an opportunity to speak privately yet.”

“No, we haven’t,” Shepard agrees.

“Our last exchange grew heated, but you have avenged my people.”

“They’ve been through a lot. Both here and back in the Milky Way.”

“And it seems we have you to thank for the help in both galaxies.”

“I didn’t do anything alone except drag the collectors here. Everyone was right.”

“We make mistakes—the quarians understand this. But we learn too.”

“Yeah, we do. Like how the quarians and geth learned how to live together. I’ve seen you guys without suits.”

He laughs a little. “Still stunning to hear. I’m afraid it’s going to be a bit longer for those of us on the ark. Thank you.” He holds his hand out and Shepard shakes it.

“How’s the ark holding up? It was your team that cleared out the ship.”

“They’re strong, they’re getting through this. We’ve mourned our dead and this evil is defeated. Going back this time and facing them on our terms was a healing experience. We are ready to make our home now.”

“I hear that.”

“This trip has had many, many obstacles. I think this is finally the end of that.”

“I think so too. Good luck out there, Pathfinder.”

“And good luck to you as well, Shepard, with whatever you decide to do next. We’ll speak again soon.”

Shepard nods and watches the quarian leave. He sits alone once more. Only a few small memories elude him now and he’s pretty sure he’s retained more of his humanity than he was ever meant to. Part of him feels bad for quietly mourning the collectors but these feelings are no different from what led him to save the reapers. And that’s something he cannot regret. Nobody else, except maybe Kaidan, understands the pain the reapers caused. But Cal is the only one who knows the good they’ve done too. Maybe one day in the future, the other reapers he traveled with can somehow be salvaged. It’s unfortunate that the general was a lost cause but he can’t regret that either. Now the galaxy can move on, now he and Kaidan can move on. The thought makes his heart swell.

Cal finally leaves the hall to find him. He looks around the Nexus and it’s similar to the Citadel. He never thought he’d miss that place so much. But no matter the similarities, it will always feel different. However, that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Those closest to him throughout his life—Ryan, Luca, Kaidan—have taught him that home isn’t a place. He may have lost Ryan when he was young but he still has Kaidan and Luca. He’s seen them forge lives here. After centuries of searching and being alone, he’ll be able to do that too.

He’s not the same person he used to be, but those two have welcomed him with open arms regardless and reminded him who he is. He’s not sure what exactly the future holds, but he knows he can be happy. Shepard is home.


	8. Epilogue

Shepard stares out at a dark starry expanse. This room calls to him and in his briefest moments of free time, he finds himself in here. Quiet. Alone. Even when others are present, it still feels like something is missing. So rarely he allows himself to dwell on what that something is but he has the time right now. It’ll be hours before they reach that Cerberus lab and he’ll spend them in the starboard observation lounge.

His fingers tap against the window. He received a message yesterday. Kaidan’s parents escaped Vancouver and made it to their orchard. Kaidan’s dad plans on reenlisting but for the moment they are both safe. Kaidan would be relieved.

Kaidan.

The missing piece in all this. Not a day goes by where that name doesn’t cross his mind. But most of the time it’s a blip, a quick dejected acknowledgment amongst a million other thoughts. Right now, however, the loss hits him like a tidal wave. He’d swim any sea, fight any foe for a chance to see Kaidan again. It’s not right that he won’t be here to witness the outcome in all this, the outcome where they win.

His fist bumps against the window. Deep down, he knows it’s for the best. What would Kaidan say to him right now? Would they be talking about the war and the overwhelming pressure Cal feels? Would Kaidan be chastising him for ever working with Cerberus as they head to this lab? Or would they change the subject completely? Talk about old memories, build a model ship together, plan for the future? If he closes his eyes, he can hear Kaidan whispering in the back of his mind.

_“Cal.”_

_“Cal.”_

*~~~*

“Cal...”

Cal’s eyes open. He’s looking out at a dark starry expanse. There is no window. There is a cold breeze and arms wrapped around his waist.

“You’re freezing,” Kaidan whispers in his ear.

He leans back into the body pressed against his. “Am I? I didn’t notice.”

“Huh. I find that hard to believe. Deep in thought?”

“Something like that.”

“About the reapers?”

He shakes his head. “No. Either Kandros and the Resistance will decide to finally repair them or not. Fuck whatever Tann has to say. I’m not worried about it.”

“What’s on your mind then?”

“Just...thinking about the Normandy.”

“Oh...”

He rests a hand over Kaidan’s.

“Are you happy here?” Kaidan asks quietly.

“In Andromeda? Of-”

“No. I mean on Voeld.”

“Yeah. It’s where you’re at.”

He sighs. “But you need more than that.”

“We’re helping the angara. More people are moving here all the time and we live in the largest city. We’re gotten to travel all over the cluster and we’re leaving to visit the Nexus tomorrow. And part of it is the fact that you’re here with me. _Of course_ that’s part of it. Do I wanna stay here forever? Nah but...we’ll talk about that when the time comes.”

“Okay. This is stuff we both need to be fine with.”

“Come on, we both know I’ll complain when I’m finally sick of this ice block.”

“True,” he murmurs before kissing his neck. “Now seriously, it’s cold.”

Now that he’s paying attention, he realizes Kaidan’s right. They slip into bed together and it’s much warmer than the frigid air outside. Cal meant it when he said he was happy here. The locals accept his presence and some have even befriended him, the collectors are defeated, he has work to keep him busy, and he’s with the man he loves. How can he not be content?

What bothers him the most though is being so far from Luca. They’re close friends, and the events from over than half a year ago only made them closer. He never would’ve found Kaidan, he probably never would’ve fully recovered from the trance he was under if not for Luca. It’d be nice if they could somehow see each other more often. Maybe in the future. But for now, as he lies in Kaidan’s arms, Cal looks forward to seeing him very soon.

As he and Kaidan first settled into this new galaxy together, he was unsure if he truly belonged here—or if he was better off floating alongside his reapers, or if he deserved a fate similar to the general. But Shepard doesn’t doubt his place any longer. He and Kaidan finally have the opportunity to just simply _be_ together, something they never had with the threat of the reapers looming. Life is calmer than life in the Milky Way ever was. After fighting for so long, life is good.

~~~~~

“I can’t believe you guys are still in bed!”

Luca huffs but then grins. “We had a long night. Haven’t seen each other in like two months.”

Lyla just rolls her eyes over the vid call.

“You on break?”

“Pfft, yeah. My team’s going back to the ship soon. Never thought I’d get to talk about protheans ever again.”

“This whole fucking trip has been one wildly outlandish thing after another.”

“Mhmm. I want to visit the new colony but I don’t think I’ll be able to anytime soon.”

“They finally decided on a name,” he laughs. “Something quarian I can’t pronounce.”

“How’s it looking?”

“It’s small right now but I think it’s gonna prosper because let’s be real, the climate is so much better than a fucking desert. Even if it is edging the scourge.”

“True. Isn’t it going to be centuries before it’s a problem? Hey...is that fucker _still_ sleeping?”

He snorts and moves his arm so that she can see Reyes sprawled out on his stomach, still fast asleep. “He...sleeps a lot deeper than I would’ve thought. I’ll kick him awake in a bit.”

“You got somewhere to be later, yeah?”

“Yeah. They’re finally gonna be here.”

“Still can’t believe they chose Voeld to live.”

“Me either. That’s like...the last place I’d want to go. But that’s where Kaidan feels he can help best.”

“They still treating Cal alright?”

“Yeah, it’s been long enough. He has friends now. Still hates the fucking cold though.”

“Fuck the snow. Oh, hey, lemme call you back.”

“What-”

“This angaran girl’s walking over,” she whispers.

“Ooh!” he exclaims. “The one you got a crush-”

He laughs by himself when the call ends abruptly then looks over when he hears a groan.

“What’s all the ruckus?” Reyes murmurs.

“Just teasing Lyla.” He sits up and lightly pushes at his boyfriend. “Come on, get dressed.”

“Luca...you know they’re not going to be here for hours, right?”

He deflates just a bit. “Yeah, I know. I wish they lived closer. Cal barely got used to the Nexus before they left again. And then you’re always going back to Kadara...”

Reyes sits up and kisses Luca’s cheek. “You’re always welcome to move there with me.”

He makes a face. “No thanks. It’s easier to be based out of the Nexus anyways.”

“Who knows what the future holds, right?”

“True. But whatever, yeah? We can think about that another day. Now get dressed so we can get something to eat.”

Reyes groans again but does get out of bed. Luca appreciates the view for a few extra moments before standing too.

*~~~*

Luca’s hands rest in his pockets as he glances around the club. The bouncer looks him over and he looks right back, licking his lips. The guy’s cute. But he’s not here to pick anyone up, he’s here to meet his friend. He walks to the bar. A quick drink before he goes to the dance floor. Cal will have no problem finding him, he’s the only one in Flux with cotton candy hair.

They have a lot of catching up to do. ‘Commander Shepard’ has been busy. According to his dad’s contacts, he’s been chasing after some former spectre. Hell, Cal _is_ a spectre now. Luca’s surprised, thinks anything involving the council is bullshit, but he’s curious about what his mission entails.

But this is still mostly supposed to be fun. He hasn’t seen Cal in ages. And while Ryder doesn’t actually care about getting booted from the Alliance because of his dad, he’s still stressed. This visit is going to be fucking therapeutic. Cal’s supposedly bringing his _boyfriend_ too—another thing that surprises him. He’s not about to lie to himself—he’s jealous. But if Cal’s found someone who he wants to hook up with long term, well, Luca wants to know what sort of guy this ‘Kaidan’ is.

But really. Luca just misses his best friend.

*~~~*

Luca realizes he’s probably acting like a restless kid, but he doesn’t care. He gives no fucks about being the human pathfinder right now. He’s been excited and impatient all damn day. He and Reyes are currently sitting in Vortex. A quick drink while they wait. The message should come any time now, the one saying-

_Ping._

Luca checks his email, knocks back his drink, and then tells Reyes to pay their tab as he sprints away. He hurries through the docking bay, searching through the crowds of people and ignoring the looks thrown his way. He finally hones in on two men, bags slung over their shoulders and one with the unmistakable marks of a reaper.

Ryder’s heart races with excitement—as long as it’s been since he’s seen Reyes, it’s been even longer since seeing these two. 

Luca and Cal’s eyes meet, and Ryder rushes over. Shepard drops his bag to the ground right before Luca tackles him in a hug. Ryder’s missed them so much. It hurts sometimes—losing Cal, then getting him back, but then him moving light years away. Emails and vid calls aren’t always enough. Part of him hoped that Cal and Kaidan would remain on his crew after the collectors were defeated. They did stay for a while but they’ve made their home on Voeld.

By the time he and Cal pull apart, Reyes has finally caught up. “You get ditched?” Kaidan asks playfully.

“Usually I wouldn’t mind being left in a bar but...”

When Luca first woke up on the Hyperion, he couldn’t possibly have predicted a single thing that’s happened to him. So much of it has been bad, but so much of it good. He remembers the weeks leading up to launch, how he didn’t want to go, how he even ran away. He remembers the regret he felt once in Andromeda. It’s taken a lot of work to let go of it. Life’s not perfect but he no longer harbors regret. He’s sad for the things that have gone wrong but he has Lyla, Reyes, Kaidan, and...Cal. One day he and Lyla will have their mom back too. Luca looks forward to the future and to these next few weeks.

He watches Shepard pick his bag back up and once he does, Luca holds out his hand. Cal takes it without hesitation, and then they walk through the Nexus together.

**Author's Note:**

> All art provided by solstheimart! (tumblr link in the beginning note)


End file.
